From pretty good to great

Among the various types of greenery in my parents’ front yard is a 15-foot Podocarpus tree. When neatly trimmed and decorated with lights, it becomes a great-looking Christmas tree.

My folks decided to host the family for the holidays this year, and the Podocarpus, which had been several months without a trim, would have to be well-manicured for the arriving guests.

I’ll admit I’m not the first guy people call when it comes to handyman or gardening-related tasks. Nevertheless, I’ve trimmed this tree a couple of times before, while my mom, with her keen eye for symmetry, provided direction on how to make the cleanest and most balanced cuts.

A few days ago, when I arrived to give the tree its makeover, my mom was busy with another project, and I was left to do it on my own. Every couple of minutes, I would step back and assess my work, hoping I hadn’t gone overboard with the trimmers.

As I cut branches at the top of the tree, my mom came out to see how it was going. I came down from the ladder as she walked around, surveying my work. I expected she would see some areas that needed more attention, but instead, she gave it her enthusiastic seal of approval.

She went into the garage to get the tree’s lights while I examined the Podocarpus, thinking to myself, “It looks pretty good.” Then another thought occurred to me—if my mom or someone else had done the job, would I think it looked better than pretty good? My answer was, “Yes, I would think it looks great.”

So I upgraded my initial assessment and acknowledged the job I had done was, in fact, great. This felt profound, and I appreciated my shift in perception because, like many people, I can be unfairly critical of my accomplishments and myself, as well. Can you relate?

When we downplay the quality of our work, what we’ve accomplished, and our impact on others, we may think we’re being humble and virtuous. However, in minimizing our “wins” and by extension, ourselves, we’re actually risking damage to our confidence and resilience.

Going forward, my experience with the tree will influence how I perceive my work and myself. Doing so can temper unfair critiques and judgments, allowing for greater fairness and empathy.

Have you had a Podocarpus-type experience? If so, I’d love to hear about it.

As an aside, my parents and I are very pleased with how the tree turned out.