Boxing + Faulty Recall = Positivity
Tim is a client I’ve been working with for more than 20 years. Before Covid, we were in the gym three days a week, and now we train at his home. The other day, Tim asked, “Remember when I’d sometimes bring my boxing gloves to the gym, and you’d hold the pads for me?” Growing up in a tough neighborhood in the Bronx, he considered himself a decent fighter.
Tim continued, “I remember one day you and I were in one of the empty racquetball courts doing pad work, and a crowd of guys started gathering outside, watching us.” He recounted how his punches that day, especially his right cross, were particularly on-point and how his blows reverberated against the court’s walls, all while the group of onlookers pointed and nodded their heads approvingly, impressed with his fighting prowess.
Tim became animated talking about this experience and started throwing a few jabs and crosses at an invisible opponent. He was enjoying this moment and feeling good about himself, and as I smiled and listened, I thought, “That’s not how it happened.” Yes, there were days we worked on his boxing, but there wasn’t an occasion that included an audience of impressed observers. The men gathering outside the court were racquetball players, donning their knee and elbow pads and goggles, shooting us glances to vacate their court.
Tim finished his impromptu shadow boxing, lowered his “dukes,” and said, “I miss some of those days at the gym, and I’m glad we had them.” Though his recollection strayed from reality, his spirits were high, his stress lowered, and no harm came from leaving his historical record intact.
I’d like to learn if others have had a similar experience where someone’s “misremembering” brought benefits that outweighed the need for reality. If so, it must be a good story—please share.
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Slipstream
I had something similar happen. When I was in the office with my workmate, I overheard his phone conversation with a client in which the client demanded services that hadn't been part of the original contract. My workmate tried to push back a bit, but the client wouldn't budge, so my workmate agreed.
Later, when the owner of the company came in, my workmate told him the story, detail by detail, except in this version, he had told the client it wasn't part of the contract, and they'd have to cut back on something or add more money to our deal. He sounded so proud of himself as if that was the way it had really happened.
We worked some magic and delivered what the client wanted, and my workmate saved face. He told the embellished version about his toughness with the client a few more times, standing taller each time.
I smiled to myself every time I heard each new version.
Well Street
The tall tale grows taller with each retelling.
Slipstream
Yes it did...
Evangel
I've heard countless pride-filled "recollections" about a brilliant idea one had, when in reality the idea belonged to someone else. The polite thing to do is remain quiet and not burst their bubble. It's how they recall it. It's possible they wished they had been the originator of the idea and imagined the praise they could have received so often it became a "real" memory.