Grandma moved in and unpacked blessings

Dementia isn’t a condition associated with positivity, as cognitive degeneration can rob a person of the life they knew and upend those of their loved ones.

My grandmother was diagnosed with dementia and could no longer live on her own. My mom cleared out her spare bedroom, packed up Grandma’s house, and moved her in. Going forward, we knew our lives would be different but we didn’t necessarily expect blessings.

Becoming more childlike is one of the characteristics of dementia, and that’s how Grandma became but in a surprising way. She didn’t become helpless, needing to be tended to day and night. Rather, she regained a spirit of childlike innocence and openness. She would unreservedly tell someone how pretty or handsome they were, saying, “You look just like a model.” You can imagine how that would brighten your day.

Every time I came to visit, she greeted me saying, “Tommy, I love you so much.” A memory that still brings happy tears is a day she came out of the bathroom and told my mom, “I looked in the mirror and thought to myself, ‘Such a pretty woman’”. I don’t know if she ever had such an endearing thought about herself when she was in her “right” mind. She had become a recipient of her own loving-kindness.

My grandma’s internal walls and defenses fell and judgments disappeared, allowing for love and light to shine through completely. My mom described her time living with Grandma as deeply enriching for their relationship, allowing it to deepen in ways that wouldn’t have otherwise.

Rarely a day goes by that I don’t think of her, but lately, she’s been coming to mind even more frequently. I think she’s encouraging me to follow her lead and see myself through her eyes, take myself less seriously, and laugh more, all without the onset of dementia. This would make her very happy, and that means everything to me.

There’s been a recent dialogue on Youtropolis with people sharing their unexpected blessings stemming from what were initially bad circumstances—how about you? What lessons have life’s challenges brought you, how have you grown as a result, and how has your growth impacted others?