Get Some Life Balance! Key Number 2

The Second Key to Overcoming Balance Interuptus — Your Desired Behaviors. "What actions do I want to take consistently?”

My client, Joyce, started working with me because she wanted to lose 25 pounds, increase her energy levels, improve her blood pressure, and feel well, in general. She had been a swimmer in high school and college, but after graduating she entered the work force, and quickly climbed up the corporate ladder. As is often the case, climbing the ladder also meant Joyce wasn't getting much sleep nor making the best food choices, hence the extra 25 pounds. She was also having to deal with stress levels that no one would envy.

The plan Joyce and I put together included three days of strength and cardiovascular training, as well as signing up for a food delivery service so she could have quality meals in the proper portions, while avoiding the take-out that was routinely ordered for the office. In three months, Joyce had lost eight pounds of body fat and gained nearly two pounds of muscle; definitely reasons for her to feel good about herself and her efforts.

An area that was challenging for Joyce, as it is with many people, was her stress management. While her exercise program and nutrition were positively impacting her blood pressure and her self-image, she wanted something that she could do on a regular basis to decompress from her work load. Activities like walks on the beach and bubble baths are nice and all, but there was no way she could do these types of things regularly with her hectic schedule.
As we considered different options, I told her that meditation helped me feel more relaxed and clear-headed and asked what she thought about it. Joyce said she had tried it a couple of times in the past, but sitting cross legged was so uncomfortable, and it was impossible for her to empty her mind. “I think it left me feeling more stressed,” she said.

To see if her perspective might change, I asked, “How appealing might meditation be if you did it while sitting in a comfortable chair, enjoying some nice, relaxing breaths, and putting no effort into not thinking? No lotus position with your legs falling asleep, or stressing because your mind won't stop racing.” Joyce was open to this and agreed to try it for 5-10 minutes before bed on Monday and Wednesday night. The following week she elected to do it four nights, extending the time to 15-20 minutes for a couple of them. In very short order, “relaxation breathing,” as Joyce likes to call it, had become a regular part of her lifestyle that improved her sleep and left her feeling more relaxed. Another important component that made this action easier for Joyce was that she began to identify as someone who practices relaxation breathing consistently. When we identify as someone who exercises regularly, enjoys vegetables, or makes time for fun, then these actions feel natural to do.

As a side note, I learned an important lesson from Joyce. When I started referring to meditation as “relaxation breathing” to other clients, they’re interest in trying it increased in a big way. Thank you, Joyce!

Our next installment, Key Number 3: Your Motivating Factors.