In conversation with John Allen

This is the first in my series “In conversation with…” Some of the conversations will be with people I know well, others not so well. What they all have in common is they are members of my tribe. What I’m sure of is that through their humanity and the lives they’ve lived, they can teach me something. Whatever it is I will learn from them matters, and for this reason, I would like to share it with you.

Today, my conversation is with John Allen, founder of RT-DJ, and a friend I’ve cared about for many years.

Well Street: As a teen and young adult, you were no stranger to getting into trouble and fights, and you had quite a rebellious streak. At what point did you start to evolve from that guy to the one whose miracle would be to “erase hate from the collective consciousness of humanity?” What do you think was the catalyst for that change?

RT-DJ: Meeting my wife started to turn things around, but the real turning point was my 25th birthday—I woke up that morning and realized I was a quarter of a century old and I told myself, “I’d better knock that crap off because nobody is going to put up with it anymore, nobody.” I felt that I should be ashamed for putting up with it for this long and that started me down the path of getting my act together.

From being that angry kid and then maturing and having kids of my own—I’m responsible for two lives that will be out in the world soon, and to a degree, I’m also responsible for the decisions they’re going to make. The only way kids get it is by example.

Well Street: The hardest thing you’ve had to deal with in your life was the passing of Scot, one of your twin infants. What got you through the enormously intense emotions, and how did that experience change you?

RT-DJ: It's a strange thing. I’m in my career now as a respiratory therapist as a direct result of losing my son. When Scot crashed, it was meningitis, and we didn’t know what was going on. I didn’t know CPR, I didn’t know what to do, and I’d never felt more useless in all my life at the most important time when I needed to be useful. That night, I decided I was never going to be in that position again. If somebody I loved was having problems or going sideways, I was at least going to know how to do something. It started with learning CPR, and now I’ve been a licensed RT for five years.

How I got through it I really don’t know. My other two sons were a big part of it, and my wife was in a very deep depression, understandably so. I needed to be there for all of them. Unfortunately, I left it unresolved for myself for a long time. I didn’t start talking about it with a therapist until about 10 years later. I wish I had my son here, but I didn’t go through what I see others experience with long downward spirals where their children suffer for the entirety of their lives.

Well Street: What else drew you to a career in respiratory therapy?

RT-DJ: My sister was severely asthmatic growing up and had to be intubated many times. I had asthma as a child, too, so I was very familiar with the nebulizer treatments and other procedures when I got to RT school.

At age 25 I was diagnosed with ADHD which hadn’t been on anyone’s radar when I was growing up. I had let school administrators, and myself as well, con me into believing I was too stupid to go to college. That was literally what I told myself— “You’re just too stupid for school so don’t even bother.”

Finally, I decided to go back to school for me, and surprisingly I graduated with a 3.5 GPA, was in the top ten percent of my class, and made the Dean’s list three consecutive semesters. This really shifted my self-image and had a profound impact on me. I’m not the smartest guy in the world, but I’m not too stupid to learn. For anyone who thinks they can’t make it in school, I would challenge them to take something they’re interested in, do the things that are asked of them, and see what happens.

Well Street: During the height of the pandemic, you came face-to-face with Covid at your clinic. You had patients who were extremely sick and some died. How did that affect you?

RT-DJ: Pretty severely. I had a little over a year of working experience before Covid hit, and very quickly people started dying on ventilators. That first wave was really gnarly, and I finally got some professional help for that in April of last year. I wasn’t myself, and I was angry all the time. I was exhausted because we had coworkers getting sick, and we were always short-staffed.

I got a lot of critical care experience in a short amount of time, but I almost quit. It seemed like there was no end in sight, and it wasn’t going to get better. I couldn’t imagine sitting there and being the surrogate family member for patients who are passing.

On the upside, we’re still getting some Covid cases, but none are ending up in our ICU, and some don’t even need oxygen.

Well Street: If you could go back and give yourself advice at any point in your life, when would that be and what would it be?

RT-DJ: I really wouldn’t change anything. I’m sorry for some of the things I did, but the repercussions of those decisions helped shape who I am today, and I’ve become someone that I like.

My self-perception has definitely improved, and the advice I’d give myself would be: Be careful of the things you call yourself because you will learn to believe them. I was a “bad” kid so I acted like one; I was “too stupid for school,” and I acted like it; I was a “drug addict,” and I behaved like it. When I stopped telling myself that I was those things, and replaced them with healthier and better things, that’s who I became.

Well Street: How do you make life better for others?

RT-DJ: One of the hardest things I had to deal with in my life was when my parents could no longer tolerate my behavior and feared legal repercussions for them because of my actions. They kicked me out of the house at 17, and what sticks with me the most is that while on the streets, people would walk by me, and I just wanted eye contact. I felt like, “Somebody please acknowledge me.” I could go 24 hours in the same spot and not a single person would look at me.

If I see people down on their luck, I try to help them out. If I’m asked for help, I’m happy to give it. I teach my kids the value of generally being helpful. If you’re part of the solution and not the problem, things get solved faster. It comes down to being the change you want to see in the world. --

My interview with John made me realize that being part of the change is the mark of a true liberator… and what Youtropolis is all about.

What change will you be a part of? I’d like to know.