Get some life balance! Key Number 5

“What challenges am I going to overcome?”

The path toward positive change is never a straight line, and comes with obstacles that can derail our momentum as well as our belief that it’s worth the effort. How great it would be to be able to anticipate every potential bump in the road, but it’s just not possible.

Having worked with many executives over the years, I saw that there was a common obstacle among them – the infamous client dinner meeting. I learned that client dinners could really get in the way of one’s health and fitness goals. It makes sense when dinner consists of appetizers with a cocktail, maybe two; fettuccine with bread; bottles of wine, and throw in dessert for good measure.

My client, Linda, is an executive who eats out with clients a couple of nights per week. As a child, Linda was ordered to always clean her plate, since there were starving kids in the world, so the practice of eating until feeling very full began early in her life. Her client dinners were no exception.

Linda knew that modifying this behavior could bring some real progress, so we brainstormed for some realistic strategies. While she liked the concept of mindful eating — being present with the meal, experiencing the flavors and textures, and feeling satisfied more quickly, it just wasn’t realistic. Being attentive to the client and talking business doesn’t really allow for mindfulness.

I asked what she thought of splitting her meal and taking some home; her expression told me that she wasn’t really feeling it. “I’m curious, what’s the down side to this strategy?”, I asked. She said that she’d never seen a client split a meal before, and reluctantly admitted that she’d be concerned of what they might think about her if she were to ask for a “doggy bag.”

Her concern was valid, but I wanted to see if we could look at it through a positive lens. I asked how judgmental she’d feel toward a client who split their meal. She said that she would notice, but wouldn’t feel at all negatively about the client’s action. “But honestly, I think I would be curious about it, since my clients put away these big dinners like I do,” she said.

Sometimes to prep a client for a real world scenario, I’ll inject a little role play into a session. “Okay, you’re at a dinner meeting with clients, you eat about two-thirds, and ask to have the rest wrapped up. A client says, ‘That’s unusual of you. You on a diet or something?’. “Keeping in mind the health benefits that can come from this action, what do you see yourself telling them, not from a place of embarrassment or defensiveness, but of confidence?” After only a couple of minutes of pondering and polishing she came up with, “I’ve started a fitness and nutrition program that I’m excited about, and I’m cutting down my portions to keep my results coming.”

Two weeks later in our next session, I asked how the “doggy bag” strategy was working. She said that it worked with an unexpected outcome, and went on to explain that while at dinner with a client, she followed the plan and asked for the remainder of her meal to be wrapped up. The client didn’t say anything, but Linda offered her reason why she did this. The unexpected outcome was that her client then asked that his meal be wrapped up, explaining that he’d just had a physical, and his unhappy doctor told him that changes need to be made. “I might as well start here, and I guess it won’t kill me to pass on dessert.”

This story illustrates the uniqueness of our personal challenges to living healthier and balanced lives, and how the strategies to deal with the challenges are equally unique. "What obstacles may come up, and what are some ways to overcome them?", is an empowering question because it assumes success and is asked from a place of self-assuredness.

To identify personal obstacles and potential solutions, bring your patience, both for the process and for yourself. Journaling and meditation are impactful in tapping into answers and strengths. Spouses, close friends, and loved ones can provide support and insights, and coming to them for their assistance can be an enjoyable bonding experience.

Another tool of compassion is, “Trial and Correction”, a positive reframe that transforms missteps and failures into learning opportunities that allow us to see which strategies work and which don’t.

I'd like to hear from the Youtropolis community about some other strategies and steps that could be used to find the answers to "What obstacles will I overcome?".

Coming Soon: Key Number 6, Your Sources of Support "What Support Teams Will I Put Into Place?"