How do you know they're toxic?
The world is full of toxic people. Maybe you know someone in whose presence you feel extreme unease every time you're with them. On the surface, it may not be so easy to tell if the person is toxic because they may initially turn on the charm.
You see this often with psychopaths, but given enough time, they show their true colors. Mind you, I'm not saying all toxic people are psychopaths, just that psychopaths have many, if not all, of those traits. Let's take a look-see.
1. Manipulation and ControlControlling Behavior:
They try to dictate your actions, who you see, or how you think. How do they do this? By being manipulative. They use guilt trips, deceit, and emotional manipulation to get their way. You are their puppet and they your puppet master.
2. Boundary Violation:
They violate your boundaries by disregarding your "no" on a regular basis, and constantly push your limits until you finally give in.
3. No Accountability:
Toxic people refuse to hold themselves accountable for their actions. Instead they often blame others. Accountability! What's that? It's never their fault. In fact, they often create drama, yet portray themselves as the victim of circumstances or other people.
4. Defensiveness:
They become angry or highly defensive when questioned or criticized. In their eyes, they can do no wrong while making you wrong for pointing it out.
5. Lack of Empathy:
Toxic people are self-centered, lack empathy, and are in constant need for attention. They show little interest in others' lives; it's all about them. They are unable or unwilling to understand or care about your feelings, needs, or opinions.
6. Judgmental:
They frequently gossip, criticize, and belittle others to maintain a sense of superiority.
They sound like great people, don't they?
Watch out for these pathetic human beings. They will suck your energy until there's nothing left.
If it's a family member, shorten the time you spend with them. If it's a co-worker, limit the engagement as much as possible.
Above all else, take care of yourself and your mental wellbeing.
Evangel
Good description. I've heard that many corporate leaders are psychopaths. I've worked with some who fit the description. It's also been known since forever that power corrupts. No one is born heartless, but given enough power, something gets twisted deep down, rendering the person soulless. Toxic personalities are likely narcissists who with enough power will easily tip over into psychopathy.
Sanatana
That's exactly correct. Billionaires tend to be manipulators, and many of them psychopaths themselves. Having so much money actually alters something in their brain. They feel entitled to do anything they want to whomever they want.
Slipstream
Great article. We often overlook the red flags you point out and continue the relationship. If there's any way to disengage, it's the only way to freedom. If you stick with them long enough, they'll suck you into their quicksand, and then you're a goner.
Sanatana
Many people see the red flags but make excuses and justify the behavior because they don't want to be alone, or because the guy is so charming that any little bit of bread-crumbing will hook them.