A return to normalcy, please

I have a simple wish.

I believe in my country. Nitpick at the flaws all you like, but if the world were a dance club, I’d want to dance with America. She’s still the most vivacious one on the dance floor. She’s still the center of attention no matter who shows up. And she’s been very good to me.

I believe in the goodness of my community, too, and all the common souls who make it tick. Nobody’s perfect, but most would give you the shirt off their back in you were in a pinch. From sea to shining sea, that’s always been the truest nature coming from every variety of folk across this land. Frankly, I don’t give a hoot if you’re red, blue, purple, or pink. I’ll still have your back until you decide to scam me.

In case you didn’t know, there’s always been crime in this great country of ours, too. Each new generation gives us their own version of the wild west. Billy the Kid’s got nothing on the KKK, or Al Capone, Charles Manson, Ted Bundy, or Bernie Maddoff to name a bare handful.

There’s always been dark and white-skinned folks, too. If you knew history, you’d know the first immigrants to arrive on our shores were white men like me. It was my ancestors who set up camp and got on with the business of slaughtering the natives. And today, it’s not black officers killing whites, it’s the other way around. So don’t ***** about dark folk. You got no right.

Since my ancestors arrived, there’s also been new waves of immigrants coming to our shore. Now many of you all have come to believe they’re wrecking things—ruining our culture. Well, if you’re saying that, you’re either old and forgetful or you just never learned that every generation of Americans has balked at the site of new immigrants stepping off their boats. But here we are, all of us under one big E Pluribus Unum, red white and blue flag. It wasn’t this generation that coined our nation’s original Latin motto. It was our nation’s founders. That motto had 13 letters to represent the 13 colonies. It’s older than the hills and it means we’re all in this together, united, fused into one.

But if you’re still grumpy over too many of “them immigrants,” consider it’s because of them that we’re the most prosperous and powerful nation in the world. How can that be? Well, they’re a determined lot, and they just work harder than the rest of us, that’s why businesses keep bringing them here.

Back to me. Aside from wishing for a return to normalcy, I wish for a return to a more gracious social behavior where guys who used to be cool also minded their manners. But now they shave their heads, get bigger tats, and brag about their badassness. I just gotta ask them, what the **** gave you the idea it’s manly be a colossal jerk? No, it’s not sexy. It’s just plain lazy.

Also, I wish everyone would take a moment to pipe down and sit in the lap of God for just one blessed moment, stop their swagger, get real, and quit fantasizing that God wants anyone to tinker with America’s democratic institutions. And, if you believe that an egomaniac is remotely capable of making things better, I’ve got some swampland in Florida to sell you.

Instead, let’s fix our problems locally together as we once did and let’s not shout at each other in the process. Getting our livers into a boil solves nothing. That’s why my wish today is mainly for a return to normalcy where I can share a good burger off the grill with neighbors and not worry about a collapsing nation. Where I can turn on the news and watch a civil discussion between opposite mentalities, instead of having to hear about the virtues of dictators or how better life will be under dictatorship. Get a grip folks. Wake up. Go live in Afghanistan or North Korea first, and then decide if you enjoy that type of government.

I’ll leave it at this: Our forefathers also imagined a better future, but what they envisioned was stuff like liberty and justice for all. Well, what we got going here today has exceeded their expectations: a woman’s right to vote, a black man in the oval office, maybe now a woman, plus most powerful nation status, and a bright multi-cultural society contributing to the world economy. I doubt this nation’s founders are rolling over in their graves. I think they’re high-fiving each other.