On this July 4th, remember what Ben Franklin said
Today’s supposed to be a celebration of our liberties, but no one seems hopeful at this moment. The big election is fast approaching and it’s hard not to get an earful of everyone’s angst. Everyone’s tongue’s still wagging about Biden’s debate “performance,” blowing it up as big as planes flying into the twin towers.
People are prickly, too, like the rug’s been pulled out from under. They need reassurance that their guy’s going to win. It’s like life and death to some.
I try to take everyone’s comment with a grain of salt. But it gets tougher when someone wants me to agree with them and I can’t. They don’t accept silence or a polite nod of my head, they want a bellyful of enthusiastic “yeses!” When I don’t give that, I notice they get their back up.
So that’s where I get stuck between the rock and a hard place. The rock wants to challenge their latest cockamamie assertion. The hard place knows it’s best to change the topic of discussion. But what’s the right thing to do? Or is there a right? I wonder…if I mean well, shouldn’t I right a wrong by telling my friend he’s bought into some BS? Is that the kindest thing to do? Or do I let him continue to stew in the pot of lies that raises his blood pressure? I’m not sure anymore.
I’ve got this old history book written by Norman Cousins that includes a chapter about Ben Franklin’s spiritual virtues. Among them is his hope that he would “refrain from censure, calumny, and detraction; that I may avoid and abhor deceit and envy, fraud, flattery, and hatred, malice, lying, and ingratitude.” Also, “That I may possess integrity and eveness of mind, resolution in difficulties, and fortitude under affliction…That I may have tenderness for the weak and reverent respect for the ancient; that I may be kind to my neighbors, good-natured to my companions, and hospitable to strangers…”
Everything he said in that one paragraph is a prescription for living a meaningful, satisfying, rewarding life. I’ve been putting it into practice, but it’s not easy. And if Ben Franklin were around today, I’d expect he’d run for president or at least advise our current one. But since that’s not happening, I’ll vote for the guy whose actions most closely embody his list of spiritual virtues. After all, those are the virtues that built America into the great nation she has been. My wish is for this greatness to be remembered and strengthened through the virtuous actions of us all.
Slipstream
I'm afraid today's politicians have lost touch with Ben's values. Behaving in a manner that he speaks of in the quote doesn't get your face on camera or your name in the news. Barking, red-faced with a little froth around your mouth is what turns cameras toward you and gets the crowds going. Lying, cheating, and being slippery enough to avoid prosecution gets applause and admiration.
However, that doesn't keep all of us who value and admire those virtues from spreading them here, there, and everywhere in our daily lives. We might just turn the camera in a new direction.
Thanks for posting your thoughtful wish. It certainly got me thinking.
Present Valley
First of all congratulations for possessing this history book. I can imagine it is full of rich information.
Secondly, thank you for the post. I'll join you in your wish. I have come to realize while I can't make a difference in the larger world, I can certainly join you in putting into practice, to the best of my ability, within my circle of influence the virtues and practices Ben Franklin spoke about. I find that gives me great comfort.
I keep reading and hearing from the neuroscience community that our brains are not wired to process all the stimulation we are receiving today...based on my own experience...I agree.
Evangel
It seems so odd that the very things Franklin aimed to stay far away from–deceit and envy, fraud, flattery, and hatred, malice, lying, and ingratitude–are the very things too many of today's politicians thrive on. How far we have come, and not in a good way. Odd, too, that those who claim they're making America "great" again, operate exclusively through that same malice. Those practices sadly have green-lighted the worst behavior in our society which now hurts us all.
Well Street
Regarding your friend, you ponder what might be the kindest thing to do—try to talk some sense into them or simply let them be, even if it means they live in perpetual anger and distress.
Don't discount what may be the kindest thing for you in this situation. I have some firsthand experience with this, and I recommend determining how important the friendship is and basing your subsequent actions on that. If keeping them in your circle feels right, accept that their views and beliefs are their new normal and they'll want to talk about them often. Who knows, their fire may eventually cool.
On the other hand, if their energy is simply too taxing on you and keeping them in your life compromises your self-care and values, the decision to walk away and hope the best for them is clear.
Thank you for posting Ben Franklin's prescription for living a virtuous life. How well we would do to have more people like him in leadership positions.
I'll join you in living with tenderness, kindness, and consideration of others.