The ELEPHANT in the Room!

“What elephant?” The elephant in the room is that THING—that large issue of which everyone is acutely aware, but of which not a word is said. It’s called the elephant in the room because everyone can feel its effects—the weight of the unspoken situation.

Whether it’s addressed or not, the elephant is there, taking up a huge chunk of space. And the worst part is, that when avoided, it becomes even larger. Maybe even to the point where the people involved can’t even fit in the same room anymore.

If there’s an elephant in your room, it’s best to get rid of it. Once you do, you’ll feel “tons” better. Avoiding the elephant stems from fear, especially if it relates to someone close to you. You might wonder if things will worsen. In most cases, they’ll improve. Remember, even though you’re not talking about it, everyone feels its presence. It’s there and it won’t go away until it’s addressed.

How does one send this elephant back to the zoo? Here are some suggestions:

1) As soon as you realize the elephant is there, address the issue; delaying it will only make it worse. In fact, the elephant has been there longer than the length of time it will take to have the actual conversation.
2) Ask the person with whom you have the issue (in private) to meet with you. Continued avoidance of the situation will not make it go away.
3) When you do meet, make sure it’s in a private setting.
4) Speak directly and honestly, from the heart. A meeting with the person doesn’t have to begin or end with a yelling match; that never solves anything.
5) Once the issue has been addressed, make sure it’s not brought up again. You don’t want another visit from Dumbo.

Don’t crowd your space with unnecessary visitors, especially large ones with tusks and a trunk. If you want a pet, buy a canary. At least they sing. Stop being a zookeeper!

Addressing tough issues with loved ones, especially those that have been avoided for too long, is never easy. But here’s the chance to create even more intimacy. The more you speak from your heart, the more open you are to closeness. I can almost guarantee that once everything is out in the open, you’ll feel much better. You might even wonder why you waited so long. So don’t!