Don't ask for the moon if you have the stars

Sometimes things aren’t what you think they are. But you’re just so sure of yourself. You know you’re right, but no one agrees with you. That can be very frustrating!

Such was the case over the holidays when a neighbor, Bill, invited other neighbors in for a New Year’s Day luncheon, myself included. It was a friendly gesture that rarely comes around, so I looked forward to it and was eager to learn a little more about Bill and his wife, Terry, who recently moved in down the way a bit.

As soon as I arrived, champagne bottle in hand, I was pulled into the kitchen by Amy, their 9-year-old daughter. “Food and drinks belong in the kitchen,” she announced.

When I entered the kitchen, instead of being greeted, everyone was trying to calm down Terry who was visibly upset for being “stupid” and “forgetful”. Apparently, she’d left a key ingredient out of her delicious-smelling stew, now bubbling on the stove, which had “spoiled everything!”–her words, not mine.

Bill insisted on going to the store to pick up the forgotten cloves, but according to her, it was too late, the stew was “no good, now” and couldn’t be remedied.

What came to mind after observing such commotion, was a scene from “Now, Voyager,” a very old movie I’d seen on Turner Classics back awhile. In its most famous scene, Charlotte Vale, played by Bette Davis, says: "Oh, Jerry, don't let's ask for the moon. We have the stars."

As I see it, more and more each day, people are going off the deep end and failing to see any genuine good. It’s like a thick fog has risen that blinds their hearts from the truth. Terry was thinking with her head instead of feeling her heart. She couldn’t imagine her guests would love the stew despite the missing ingredient. She couldn’t see they were having a great time in each other’s company. She couldn’t see they thought she was a stunning hostess, despite her fluster. She couldn’t feel the love in the room because she was too busy shaming herself.

Terry is like most of us. We all do it. We forget ingredients, or keys, or other objects, because we’re too preoccupied with ourselves and what we want and what we should have or should be by now. It amounts to self-blame, or blaming others, pointing fingers, finding fault, griping, griping, griping. It’s like your brain is tossing around in a dryer endlessly, getting overheated. Meanwhile, your heart is snoozing or in a coma.

So wake up! Look around you. It’s bright out there. You just have to open your eyes and see clearly. You gotta stop asking for the moon and take a breath so that you can see the beautiful stars that are all around you.