Heartfelt Harmony and Jane Fondue

The light from the bright full moon fell in a river along the top of a placid lake as two lovers held hands. The scent of night blooming jasmine seemed to circle around the promontory where they sat, as if it was meant only for them as they looked down at the twinkling blue waters.

“Tell me something,” said the woman.

“Yes, yes…anything,” said her companion with a tremble in his voice.

“Do you like…well…I know some people don’t, but here it goes…do you like Fondue?

“Fondue? How can you talk about cheese at a time like this?”

“I know, I know,” she said. “But every time I see a full moon, it reminds me of Mr Cheesy Head, as my dad used to say, and it makes me hungry.”

The above story—slightly modified—comes from Josephine Turck Baker’s book, “The Art of Conversation and The Twelve Golden Rules.” Clearly, Jane Fondue (a made up name) broke Rule 9: Make Your Speech in Harmony with Your Surroundings.

It’s like the harmony of being at a fabulous restaurant and when the dinner arrives, you and your dining companions talk about how delicious the food is, how good the wine is, and how delicately the parsley is chopped etc., as opposed to overlooking the sumptuous repast and droning on about the Suez Canal or Albania.

But what happened to me last weekend takes the cake! I was at a beautiful outdoor wedding (for one of our junior librarians) in Topanga Canyon, a mountainous enclave above Malibu. I usually get to weddings early, as I love taking in the ambiance and feeling the excitement build of the event that's about to take place.

I took my seat toward the back by the aisle, my handkerchief in hand. The fragrant scent of roses perfumed the air. Then out of nowhere this man comes and sits right next to me.

“What’s with all these damn flowers?” he said. “I was just at a funeral yesterday…and the same thing…flowers everywhere!”

I was about to say something when he sneezed and I noticeably recoiled.

“Hey, it’s just an allergy…you don’t happen to have an extra Kleenex?”

Before I could answer, he continued. “So what happened is I get to this funeral a bit late…and it’s packed. I had no idea my friend—who was a real recluse—knew so many people! So when the service is over and I go up and look in the casket, I was shocked…I had never seen this person before in my life! I was at the wrong funeral! Can you believe it? I sure hope I’m at the right wedding.”

“Well, I do too,” I said. “And I’m wondering if you should really be talking about funerals and the end of one’s life at a beautiful event like this where two young people are just starting their life together. It seems inappropriate.”

“You have a point…but don’t tell me about weddings. I know all about them. I’m a casting director and I just cast a movie about a wedding and I did my research. It will be huge. I know everyone in Hollywood…and they all wanted to be in it!”

“Oh, really? Do you know Jane Fondue?”

I could see he was taken aback, but before he could answer, I could hear the opening notes of Wagner’s Wedding March, and a tear came to my eye as I watched the bride and her father walk down the aisle.