Fear is the Source of Every Problem!

Fear is the source of every problem.

If we can get down to the root of what the fear is, then we can start taking the steps to look at it in the eye and say, "I'm done with you! From now on, I'm going to do the opposite of what I've always done." We use the Chief Defense to protect ourselves from the Fear (which actually rarely, if ever, materializes). What you use to protect yourself from experiencing the fear that is always at the center of your pain. And it always backfires.

For example, if you're afraid of abandonment, your chief defense might be to shut down when you perceive someone is rejecting you. The solution, then, would be to do the opposite and not shut down. It is a long and scary process, but one that is worth it if you want to get rid of your anxiety, which results in fear.

Here are some examples of our Chief Defenses:

Anger: This is a forceful way of saying, "Stop scaring me."

Greed: This is an anxious attempt to secure what we are afraid of not having.

Sadness: This is a response to our fear of having to live without something that was important to us.

Guilt: This is a way of punishing oneself as payment of wrongdoing, deflecting the fear of punishment from others.

Jealousy: This comes from fear of losing something one deeply cares about.

Loneliness: This is a fear of losing the opportunity for connection and the particular kind of fulfillment that comes from being with people ... and so on for all the negative thoughts and feelings.

Boredom: This hides a feeling of meaningless and purposelessness. We are trapped in its emptiness, afraid that we will have to stay there for longer than we wish.

These are just a few examples.

Based on the work of Todd Pressman, PhD (Deconstructing Anxiety)