Does Absence Make the Heart Grow Fonder?

There’s a marvelous world within us like a lost Atlantis that surfaces unexpectedly. With it comes a feeling of being transported through a time machine where we’re left entranced in a heartwarming virtual reality of fond memories. Magically, we feel comforted and realize we’ve got a smile on our face. This is the joyride of nostalgia.

Nostalgia’s power to capture our heart and grip our emotions may be little understood, but we know we’ll linger and steep in these nurturing memories as long as possible just to recall the details of what no longer is, but still makes us happy.

The familiar whiff of Grandma’s long gone pot roast reminds us of who we were in a special time and place that will never return to us. In such nostalgic moments, we may find ourselves wistfully imagining a travel back in time to sit at just one more joyful family gathering with all the cousins. 

Nostalgia reminds us that what we once took for granted is often sorely missed, revealing that absence does indeed make the heart grow fonder. This teaches us to be more present to the love that abounds even in the most mundane moments of life.

Ziyan Yang, a professor at the Chinese Academy of Sciences’ Institute of Psychology, believes that nostalgia brings us a sense of fondness and belonging which can be comforting during challenging times. At best, it tells us our heart aches for the deep-seated love that once surrounded us and grounded us in community. 

Today there are scientific studies that reveal nostalgic memories are not only good for us emotionally, but are balm to the soul. Reminiscing about our past can offer a reassurance that despite the rough patch we’re in, good times, free of malice, are sure to return to us.

As we reflect on such memories, we can consider that those who were part of those memories may also feel a similar nostalgia stirring within—if they are still alive. This may be an opportunity to reach out and reconnect with those from our past to bring more emotional comfort and balance into our lives. 

There is nothing that can replace the magic of our past, but understanding what our soul longs for in those memories can shed light on how to bring about renewed joy and comfort into our day-to-day activities. 

While it’s tempting to dismiss nostalgia as a worthless pastime, its gives us a recurring walk down memory lane, connecting us with those who once uplifted and nurtured us, and reminding us of the power we possess to uplift and nurture others, be they our own family, our tribe, or a newly-arrived immigrant family searching for a warm welcome in our hometown.