Thrown Under The Bus? Let Wisdom Win The Day.

Life can be very frustrating sometimes, especially when someone decides to throw you under the bus without provocation or justification.

Often this occurs in the workplace where any number of colleagues may be angling for your job. As more people lose their jobs, fear and hostilities rise, and someone may harbor a desire to put you in a bad light. But it can just as easily happen in family gatherings or at social events with friends.

Because we live in a competitive world, people often feel pressure to measure themselves against others. Though competition can be a good thing, it can also lead people to act disingenuously and hurt others.

Perhaps you have felt the proverbial knife in your back more than once. Such an attack is an intentional effort to publicly humiliate you and gain the upper hand. Whoever does this feels motivated and justified in taking you down.

Whatever their reason, and as outrageous as their humiliating disparagement may be, the sting of their low blow is no reason to respond with anger—unless you want to give them the satisfaction they're looking for.

How should you respond to regain your equilibrium?

Those who take the high road always come out ahead. Though it's not easy, especially if you're in a panic, these 6 genius hacks turn the tables on the offender by casting a more glowing, positive light on you.

1. Practice Emotional Detachment

When someone humiliates you, instead of responding emotionally, take a step back. The Stoic philosophers taught the importance of controlling what is in our power—chiefly, our reactions to what has occurred. Realize the situation itself is neutral, but it's your judgement of it that's riling you up. As Epictetus put it, "It's not what happens to you, but how you react that matters."

2. Understand the Other's Perspective

Buddhist philosophy urges us to lean into compassion for others, even those who have wronged us. Consider that the person who humiliated you acted out of their own insecurities, fears, or ignorance. Reframing the situation through empathy allows you to stand taller and focus on rising above the conflict.

3. Act with Integrity

Immanuel Kant emphasized the importance of acting according to a moral code, regardless of how others treat us. Responding to such situations with integrity always shows a superior strength of character. Ask yourself, "What is the right thing to do?" By holding yourself to a higher moral standard, you protect your own dignity and karma, and model a more noble disposition than your offender.

4. Seek Self-Understanding

Existentialists like Jean-Paul Sartre believed that we have the freedom to define ourselves by our choices. If someone publicly shames you, it's crucial to remember that their actions don't define you. What matters is how you choose to respond. You, alone, have the power to shape your own narrative and live authentically, despite the opinion of others.

5. Forgive, but Set Boundaries

Christian philosophers, particularly Augustine and Aquinas, would ask you to consider forgiveness to free yourself from bitterness. But, forgiveness doesn't mean tolerating further backstabbing. In forgiving the person who intentionally humiliated you, you release their emotional hold on you—but setting strong boundaries ensures it won't happen again.

6. Reflect on the Bigger Picture

Aristotle believed in the cultivation of virtue in the pursuit of a balanced life. When wronged, instead of fixating on the immediate harm, consider the long-term impact on your character. Ask yourself, "How can I grow from this experience?" Through self-reflection, you'll develop wisdom, patience, and courage, rather than seeking revenge and validation.

Conclusion

In moments of being thrown under the bus by anyone, philosophers urge us to act in ways that align with our values. Your response to adversity defines your character far more than the words of those who wronged you. Acting with integrity and composure will throw your opponent off their game and make you look like the good guy after all.