There are 2 male types. I wish it weren't so.

I’ve come to the conclusion that there’s just two male populations in this world. One population works hard to become a better man. The other prides itself on being a class A jerk. Between the two, the jerk appears to be the most intriguing, appealing, and admired by both men and women of all races and nations. This troubles me and I wish this weren't so.

What’s even more troubling are the young boys who see the jerk personality as some sort of superhero and try to emulate him as a way of feeling their own oats.

I’m what the opposite *** would call a nice guy, not cuddly teddy bear sort of nice, but I’ve got manners and I’d give you the shirt off my back if you were in trouble. But there was a time girls ignored me and I couldn’t figure out why. Once, I stupidly fell head over heels with some gal who, turns out, was only “dating” me so she could better understand the class A Jerk she was head over heels with. Maybe she was trying to make him jealous, too. But I, the nice guy, was safe…and not her type. Her type was the kinda guy who’d give her nothing but trouble.

Something about being a brute is sexy to a whole lot of women. Go figure. Which is why class A jerks of all ages have morphed into their own version of Trump. It’s not the first time I’ve tried to make sense of this, but last week I watched a video of Conan O’Brien interviewing some teenage boys cordoned off in some West Bank refugee camp. Conan asked the boys who was the “coolest” among them, and after the boys unanimously picked the cocky one, the interview questions were directed at him through a translator:

Conan: What do they want to say to kids their age in America?

Boy: You’re very lucky.

Conan: Would they like to come visit America some day?

Boy: Very much. God willing. After high school.

Conan: What would you like to see in America?

Boy: Statue of Liberty…and Trump.

Yep. Trump. The man who’d ban all Muslims from the USA. Conan was stunned. A country like ours full of endless sites to see was just boiled down to the Statue of Liberty and the nation’s most notorious Class A Jerk. And that’s when it all started to make sense to me.

The lure of imposing, domineering, macho figures like Trump is as old as the hills. He’s “the better man” that wimpy men and insecure boys wish they could be. “Better” means: a huge pair of balls, huge bank account, huge audiences of adoring fans, and huge power over everyone and everything. Hell, no matter there’s no moral compass there, he’s got what counts!

I know I could’ve chosen Jerk over moral compass for my vision of a better man. Heck, if you have a brain, you have a choice no matter how you’ve been raised or by whom. I chose to emulate the men I admired most, the kinder type who believed in being upstanding. No price tag comes with it. No court dates. No trying to hide the truth about rules you love breaking. It means keeping your mouth shut when necessary, staying away from trouble, and cooling it down instead of putting your fist through a wall—or person’s face.

Being a man is confusing business these days. We try our best…only to now see a sh**load of class A Jerks coming out of their closets and winning the day…all over the word. Hmm.

So should men keep working on being their best selves, or should we all devolve into rude, farting slobs who treat the opposite *** like they were born to serve just us? Weigh in, please.