Put down the shovel. Have a piece of pie.

There’s a lot that goes on inside my head these days. Sometimes it feels like a wood chipper breaking down hard news instead of old branches…like hearing that 17 U.S. veterans commit suicide every day in this country. Over morning coffee I think what a sad mess of a heartache each vet leaves behind. Over chores, I’m scratching my head, stumped as to why 6205 souls who served our country are desperate enough to check out...every year. Truthfully, that’s been keeping me up at night.

I’ve heard the legacy of war is unforgiveness…that dark, unshakable state of brokenness that never ends. The thing is, if we have a way of going into deep space to probe Jupiter and send pictures back, can’t we get a clear enough picture of our vets, at least enough to stop what’s happening deep inside their mind? Don’t we owe them that?

I’ve had my own low points. But it’s long before then that the grave gets dug.

Think of it this way: forgiveness is within our own hands. If we don’t grab hold of it, we break. So we start selling ourselves short. That’s when we’re grabbing the shovel instead. When our big dreams look pointless, we start digging. That makes us hot under the collar since now it’s the other guy who gets all the breaks. So we dig in, pulling and tossing some big shovels of dirt. We’re going through the motions now, fed up because life starts owning us instead of us owning our life. That’s when we’ve dug deep enough to start pushing up daisies.

So instead of picking up the shovel that sits in my head, I find something generous to do instead. Every time.

I’m pretty sure it was Thomas Jefferson who said that every human mind feels pleasure in doing good to another. That quote works for me on my darker days. Doesn’t matter who you do the kindness to, at the very least it will give you pleasure, and so it will likely be just as pleasurable to the person or pet you’re giving it to.

Today’s Valentine’s Day. Get out there and give some love, even if it’s just a warm piece of pie for your own pleasure. That’s my lesson for this special day.