You Can't Unring a Bell ...

Have you ever felt so heated during an argument with a loved one that you’ve said something really mean and hurtful? Then after you said it, you immediately regretted it?

Most people know what buttons to push; know exactly what to say to get back and hurt the other person, especially if they know them well.

Unfortunately, the minute you utter those hurtful words, you can’t take them back. They’re out, and like a tsunami, can cause havoc and emotional devastation. You cannot hit the delete button after you’ve said what you’ve said.

Here are some suggestions to keep you from saying something you’ll regret:

1) When you hear something that sets you off, take a deep breath. Even a few seconds can help.
2) Respond, but don’t do it in anger, out of a knee-jerk reaction.
3) Leave the room if possible. Distance often brings clarity.
4) Don’t bring up the past. If it doesn’t have anything to do with what’s happening, don’t bring it up.
5) Don’t use insulting words like: stupid, moron, idiot, etc.

If you do slip and say something for which you’re really sorry, apologize and make a silent vow to do better next time. There’s always a next time.

So remember ... before ringing that bell, make sure you want the other person to hear it, because once you ring it ...