The YOU Behind the Mask!

You walk into the Masquerade Ball outfitted in vibrant blue; a green, yellow, and purple Mask over your face, making you unrecognizable. You snake your way through the masked crowd with a confident stride, feeling like nothing can touch you. You saunter up to another Masked attendee, and within minutes you are disclosing the most intimate details of your life. Typically, you’re very reserved, but wearing the Mask has done something to you. It has lowered your inhibitions, and knocked down the boundary walls to which you’re normally accustomed.

Why were you able to share your most intimate secrets with a stranger? Simple: as long as no one knows who you really are, you can say anything. It’s like confessing to a priest who can’t see your face. Your “sins” just come pouring out with abandon. Oscar Wilde said, “Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.”

It’s important to know that everyone hides behind numerous masks, depending on where they are, or with whom. For example, there are masks for work, acquaintances, your best friend, and your family. Why the masks? Here are some reasons:

To gain acceptance. You want have people like you, so you act in a way you believe will help you reach that goal.
To hide fear so that you don’t appear vulnerable.
To hide anger. Maybe you were raised believing that anger was a bad thing. Now you wear a smile, but inside you’re seething.
To hide sadness so you can protect someone from getting upset.

It’s not always appropriate to reveal yourself to everyone you meet, but it is necessary to know when you’re wearing a Mask so you don’t lose the real You. Here are a few common Masks people wear as a psychological defense:

The Funny One—is always making a joke out of everything. He/she may also be avoiding embarrassment, vulnerability, or pain. One never knows what’s really going on inside The Funny One.

The Know It All—seems to have an answer for everything, has to have the last word, and has done everything you have, but better! It’s a form of bullying.

The Pleaser—goes through life just being available, saying yes, and offering their services; anything to make themselves look good (even though inwardly they may not want to.) They just want to be liked.

The Beauty—goes through life depending on her looks. Eventually her looks will let her down, then who will she be? Her confidence is low, and she feels her looks are all she has.

Masks are a defense mechanisms, and protective devices. Under certain circumstances it’s okay to wear one. But beware that you don’t lose yourself in the process.

Learn what masks you wear and when. Then ask yourself: If I took them off, who would I be? What would I say? What would I do?