I find this ridiculous! I am married to a man. I am the daughter of a man. I am the mother of two men. I am the mother in law of a man. To suggest that I would rather be stranded with a bear than a man is beyond the absurd. Sorry for all of you who have had bad experiences, but this is too much!
I am happy for you! That you've never had a terrible experience in the hands of a man. That's wonderful. Having had that experience, of course, you'd choose the man.
Most women choose the bear because, as one woman said, the only thing the bear can do is kill you. What can men do? They can rape, torture you, and then top it off with murder. This is not hyperbole.
Women do not want to go out at night alone. They cannot leave their drinks unattended because they might be drugged. They need to check the back seat before they get into their cars, have Pepper Spray in their purses, give their location, carry keys as weapons in their hands, etc.
There are good men out there. But it's truly hard to know who they are. You are fortunate, as am I, to have had and have good men in my life. Given that, I have been touched inappropriately by men, and twice while they were near their wives. And when I was 19, a man tried to lure me into opening my car door to do God knows what to me. Fortunately, I was savvy enough to not open the window, and get away. For all I know, he may have been a serial killer.
I understand you are seeing this as "ridiculous" based on the filter from which you look out. A lot of women have not had as good an experience as yours.
As a therapist for 30 years now, I have heard more than my fair share of sexual assault stories. Including those that have been perpetrated by family members. There have been a lot.
Most interesting was that the men would have their daughters stuck with a bear rather than a man. Whoa...
However, I have to add that my dad was the best dad ever, and currently, I'm very fortunate to be surrounded by wonderful men. My son, nephews, and male friends are loving, giving, and supportive. They are what men should be, not what we're seeing and reading about in the news.
I do agree that there are great men out in the world. Thank God for that. But the truth of the matter is that men are our biggest natural predator.
It's the not knowing. Are we safe going out alone at night? Leaving our drinks unattended at a bar, accepting help from a man who just happens to be walking by? If not, why?
It's the uncertainty. While there are good men in the world, there are also bad actors that can do terrible things to women. So, choosing the bear ... at least we know we might be killed and lights out. With a man, rape and torture can go on for hours.
If I chose to go into the woods alone, I would be plainly stupid. And I definitely would not go deep into the woods with any of the men I love and trust, even if they were armed, since none of them have ever shot a gun.
When I was 13, I wrote my first fictional story in a blank diary I was given by my mother. The story was about going into the woods and being raped by a man hiding in the trees. I thought it was a good story and shared it with my mother. But she wondered if it had actually happened to me. It had not, but I was pulling from memory an incident that happened to me on board a ship in Naples, Italy, when I was eleven years old. Although I didn't know it was a sexual assault at the time, what the sailor did to me felt so icky, I kicked his leg and slapped his face. He was brazen enough to do this in front of my brother who was clueless to what this sailor was attempting to do with me.
I'm sharing this because sexual assault is as old as the hills and happens everywhere in the world, countless times a day. Sadly, with the internet being what it is, young boys are being visually exposed to all manner of beatings and raping of women despite parental controls. God help us all!
This is a very interesting and thought provoking response. First, sorry about the creepy experience you had with that sailor. Second, yes, you are so right about the internet! We are raising a society of young people, boys and girls, who are seeing disgusting things they should not be seeing at their very young and innocent age. Their brains are definitely not developed enough to process some of those images. The internet has unleashed a massive amount of material that even mature brains cannot handle. I don’t know what the answer is. We certainly can not put the genie back in the bottle.
Thanks for your comment! When I was growing up, my parents talked to us from a very young age about drugs. They warned us that people would try to get us to use them. It always stayed with me and put me on alert. But they avoided discussions about sex or sexual abuse. I think it's important for parents to have this discussion with kids from an early age, at least to make them aware. I have also known some men who were corrupted as boys by fathers who forced them to watch pornographic videos with the goal of turning their boys into "real" men. One family I knew took all of their sons to prostitutes once they turned 13. So many men have a fear their sons will become gay, especially if they end up in the military, and so they rush them into manhood. Today, with kids being so curious and eager to grow up, there seems to be little to prevent exposure to hardcore material that is easily available anywhere and everywhere.
Wonderland
I find this ridiculous! I am married to a man. I am the daughter of a man. I am the mother of two men. I am the mother in law of a man. To suggest that I would rather be stranded with a bear than a man is beyond the absurd. Sorry for all of you who have had bad experiences, but this is too much!
Sanatana
I am happy for you! That you've never had a terrible experience in the hands of a man. That's wonderful. Having had that experience, of course, you'd choose the man.
Most women choose the bear because, as one woman said, the only thing the bear can do is kill you. What can men do? They can rape, torture you, and then top it off with murder. This is not hyperbole.
Women do not want to go out at night alone. They cannot leave their drinks unattended because they might be drugged. They need to check the back seat before they get into their cars, have Pepper Spray in their purses, give their location, carry keys as weapons in their hands, etc.
There are good men out there. But it's truly hard to know who they are. You are fortunate, as am I, to have had and have good men in my life. Given that, I have been touched inappropriately by men, and twice while they were near their wives. And when I was 19, a man tried to lure me into opening my car door to do God knows what to me. Fortunately, I was savvy enough to not open the window, and get away. For all I know, he may have been a serial killer.
I understand you are seeing this as "ridiculous" based on the filter from which you look out. A lot of women have not had as good an experience as yours.
As a therapist for 30 years now, I have heard more than my fair share of sexual assault stories. Including those that have been perpetrated by family members. There have been a lot.
So choosing the bear ... yeah, I get that.
Slipstream
Wow, that was eye-opening.
Most interesting was that the men would have their daughters stuck with a bear rather than a man. Whoa...
However, I have to add that my dad was the best dad ever, and currently, I'm very fortunate to be surrounded by wonderful men. My son, nephews, and male friends are loving, giving, and supportive. They are what men should be, not what we're seeing and reading about in the news.
Sanatana
I do agree that there are great men out in the world. Thank God for that. But the truth of the matter is that men are our biggest natural predator.
It's the not knowing. Are we safe going out alone at night? Leaving our drinks unattended at a bar, accepting help from a man who just happens to be walking by? If not, why?
It's the uncertainty. While there are good men in the world, there are also bad actors that can do terrible things to women. So, choosing the bear ... at least we know we might be killed and lights out. With a man, rape and torture can go on for hours.
Evangel
If I chose to go into the woods alone, I would be plainly stupid. And I definitely would not go deep into the woods with any of the men I love and trust, even if they were armed, since none of them have ever shot a gun.
When I was 13, I wrote my first fictional story in a blank diary I was given by my mother. The story was about going into the woods and being raped by a man hiding in the trees. I thought it was a good story and shared it with my mother. But she wondered if it had actually happened to me. It had not, but I was pulling from memory an incident that happened to me on board a ship in Naples, Italy, when I was eleven years old. Although I didn't know it was a sexual assault at the time, what the sailor did to me felt so icky, I kicked his leg and slapped his face. He was brazen enough to do this in front of my brother who was clueless to what this sailor was attempting to do with me.
I'm sharing this because sexual assault is as old as the hills and happens everywhere in the world, countless times a day. Sadly, with the internet being what it is, young boys are being visually exposed to all manner of beatings and raping of women despite parental controls. God help us all!
Wonderland
This is a very interesting and thought provoking response. First, sorry about the creepy experience you had with that sailor. Second, yes, you are so right about the internet! We are raising a society of young people, boys and girls, who are seeing disgusting things they should not be seeing at their very young and innocent age. Their brains are definitely not developed enough to process some of those images. The internet has unleashed a massive amount of material that even mature brains cannot handle. I don’t know what the answer is. We certainly can not put the genie back in the bottle.
Evangel
Thanks for your comment! When I was growing up, my parents talked to us from a very young age about drugs. They warned us that people would try to get us to use them. It always stayed with me and put me on alert. But they avoided discussions about sex or sexual abuse. I think it's important for parents to have this discussion with kids from an early age, at least to make them aware. I have also known some men who were corrupted as boys by fathers who forced them to watch pornographic videos with the goal of turning their boys into "real" men. One family I knew took all of their sons to prostitutes once they turned 13. So many men have a fear their sons will become gay, especially if they end up in the military, and so they rush them into manhood. Today, with kids being so curious and eager to grow up, there seems to be little to prevent exposure to hardcore material that is easily available anywhere and everywhere.
Sanatana
Thank you for sharing your story. Sexual assault happens every day to women. And things are getting worse, not better! God help us, is right!