It's Easier that Way!

I was talking to a young man recently who is in a fairly new relationship. During our conversation, he told me about some things he’d told his girlfriend—mainly lies— because he knew that telling her the truth would result in an argument.

The lies consisted of telling her that he was going to be somewhere when in fact he’d be somewhere else. This young man wasn’t doing anything wrong, but he knew the possessive girlfriend would not like it. So instead of telling her the truth, he lied; told her he was working when he was really fishing with his friends. When I asked him why he’d lied about something so innocent, he said, “It’s just easier that way.” He preferred to lie than get into an argument with her.

Here’s the problem: relationships based on lies are built on a house of cards. The smallest little shake and they all come tumbling down. Doing something or saying something because it’s easier doesn’t work. Eventually the lies get discovered and now you have an even bigger problem on your hands. At that point you’ve lost all credibility. Regaining trust takes a long time. Sometimes you don’t regain it at all.

If your partner can’t deal with the truth, maybe you need to reconsider being with that partner. To be in a solid relationship, you need to be with someone with whom you can be truthful and honest; with someone with whom you can be yourself. If the relationship is going to last, it has to be that way. And if your partner doesn’t like what you’re doing, either stop doing it, or end the relationship.

Lying to keep a relationship alive is like artificial resuscitation. It doesn’t work.

Easier isn’t always better. The hard road is often difficult, but in the end, it will be honest and creating the potential for a long-lasting relationship

“One lie is enough to question all truths.”