"It is what it is!

But does it have to be?

I’ve heard this phrase often. Someone tells me about a situation they’re in, and then follow it with, “It is what it is.”

The first time I heard it, I didn’t give it too much thought. But the more I heard the phrase, the more I started to see a pattern. In most of the situations, the person was talking about a current issue in their lives—relationship, job, school, etc. The meaning behind the words started appearing in a different light. I started hearing, “It’s this way, and I’m not doing anything to change it.”

There are some situations in which you could literally say, “It is what it is!” and have it be true. Example: you’re 4’10 and you wish you were 5’7.” In a case like that there’s nothing you can do about it. Or you're 80 and wish you were 50. That really is what it is. In most cases, however, “it is what it is” on the outside, but you can be the deciding factor. Picture a cup of water. It is water until you add tea. Then you’ve altered what it is. So look at what you can add, delete, change, to make “what it is,” “what it was.”

For instance, if you’re in a job you hate, is it still “what it is,” or can it be something different? Can you start looking for a new job? Start training in a new field? Talk to your boss about moving to another department? I don’t know . . . the possibilities abound.

If you’re using that phrase as an excuse because you’re unmotivated to change the situation you’re in, then you’re hindering yourself. In most cases, things can be done to alter “what is.” I challenge you to really examine a scenario about which you’ve used that phrase. Is it really what it is, or can something be done about it?

Can you change "what it is" to "what it was?"