Guilty as charged?
Today, I wanted to discuss feelings of guilt. This is a tough emotion with which to deal. If you're a good person, it can really weigh you down. Guilt lets you know you've done something wrong; something of which you're not proud.
The first thing you have to do is figure out why you're feeling guilty. Is it something you said? Something you did? Something you didn't do? Pinpointing the cause can really help you understand the situation much better.
Another thing you may want to do is talk to someone about what happened. That person may be able to provide you with some clarity or even a different perspective. Maybe you can talk to a trusted friend or family member. A therapist is also a great resource because they can provide you with unbiased feedback and help you process what transpired.
You may also want to focus on what you can control. If it's something that happened in the past, there's not much you can do about it. But if you can apologize to someone you hurt, or make amends in some way, then that's a great opportunity for you to relieve yourself of that guilt you've been toting around. If it's something you cannot change, then acceptance, learning from it, and moving on is the only thing you can do.
Know this, holding on to guilt will not make your life better. Doing what you can, and forgiving yourself are the keys to moving forward.
Slipstream
Guilt is a terrible thing to carry. It can take a major toll on your body and mind, and it can also seep into other relationships. Handling it sooner than later is the first step. Thanks for your helpful options.
Evangel
I've, noticed that sometimes people feel guilty by imagining they've failed someone they love. It might be something simple like failing to keep a promise. Their guilt is so heavy they avoid the other person, even ignoring that person's attempt to reach out to them, making their guilt even worse.
The advice you've offered is the perfect solution. May all guilty parties read it and take a positive action.
Well Street
The weight of guilt is far heavier than anything I've lifted in the gym, and I agree that self-forgiveness is imperative. Getting to that place will likely take time and concerted effort, but it's a most worthy endeavor.
Present Valley
What a great topic. One probably everyone can relate to.
It is so fresh in my mind....a situation occurred between my younger sister and I when I was 20, she was 12. It's something I have felt guilty about for 50+ years...yes, 50+ years. I felt so guilty, so bad about it (of course I had a good long time to make it worse than it was) I could not forgive myself or apologize or make amends until a month ago. When I did apologize my sister just laughed at me and said "don't you think it's time to let that go?" She remembered the situation very differently and thought it was no big deal.
What valuable lessons I learned: 1)the mind can bend and twist a situation making it worse; 2) the uselessness of carrying guilt; 3) the harm I did to myself by not forgiving myself for my unloving behavior; 4) the unnecessary suffering I experienced from not being proactive and making amends and 5) forgetting I'm not perfect I will make mistakes and this was a great example.
Thanks for reinforcing my learning with your great post.