Feelings Are Not Facts!
You put a lot of credence on your emotions and feelings. You believe that all of your emotions and feelings are based on fact. In truth, most of the time emotions are based on fiction, on misunderstandings; on reading something one way (based on your filter), instead of the way things really are.
There are a number of things that you encounter throughout the day that elicit certain responses. Some emotions even come from stories you recite to yourself on a constant basis. If you tell yourself a story long enough, you might just begin to believe it.
It's important to decipher the difference between feelings that are born from your imagination and feelings that are based on true-to-life events.
Just because your boss calls you into her office, doesn't mean you're in trouble. Just because your friend snaps at you, doesn't mean she's upset with you. Perhaps she's simply having a bad day, or maybe feeling rushed. How you view her actions is on you and not necessarily how things really are.
I've had that experience personally. I was sad about something that was happening in my life and was sort of quiet. My son came up to me and asked, "Are you mad at me? Is something wrong?"
Of course there wasn't. I was in a sad mood, that's all. Nothing to do with him. But he somehow viewed the situation differently than what it was.
Don't create a scenario based solely on your feelings. Your feelings might be based on inaccurate information.
If something isn't feeling right, don't stuff it down or get upset. Take a look at it. What's behind that feeling? Is it based on something real for which you have true evidence, or just a hunch on your part. Pay attention at how you might be creating the emotions you're feeling.
If necessary, clear the air with the person in question. You might be surprised that your emotions were not based on anything concrete, but just some skewed perspective.
It's difficult dealing with emotions and feelings and it's not always easy to get to the bottom of them. But with a little practice you might just diminish unnecessary disturbing feelings in your life.
Slipstream
You are so right on with your assessments. I've wondered if, as humans, we are basically self-obsessed. The boss is mad because of me, or my mom's down because I said or did something, or everything is going to collapse because I did or didn't do x,y, z. And as you accurately point out, most times it's nothing to do with us, and yet, we play the blame game with ourselves over and over, never learning it seems, that it really isn't about us. I appreciate your post, thanks!
Well Street
The feelings stemming from our stories and identities, formed over many years, can wield such power that discerning them from true evidence can be quite challenging.
To your point, though, the detective work and practice it takes to separate them and ultimately spare us anxieties is well worth the effort.
Thank you for posting.