The Benefit of Shifting Your Focus!
In the Netflix movie, Work It, senior high schooler Quinn, is obsessed. Obsessed with attending Duke University! There is no other option. Period. After all, her father --RIP-- went there ... so it stands to reason that she has to go there as well. Quinn is controlled by her obsession. Her head is without fail always buried in books. After all, she has to keep up her GPA, and in addition, make sure she has plenty of extracurricular activities to list on her application. She plays the cello, volunteers at a nursing home, and works the sound stage for her school's dance team, The Thunderbirds. Unfortunately, Quinn is kinda of a klutz, and spilling coffee on the equipment which causes a fire, leads to her getting fired. Oops!
She's sad, but she's still got Duke U in her crosshairs. She, with the support of her mother, prepare for the interview that will make her dream come true. It does not go well, however. It seems like every other applicant and their cousins also play the cello and volunteer for other nursing homes. She needs to stand out, but she doesn't.
In despair, she lies to the recruiter and tells them she's also a dancer for The Thunderbirds. Regrettably, she can dance as well as I can do backflips on a balance beam.
But she's got to do something, say something. Remember ... she must go to Duke U!
She tries out for The Thunderbirds and you can guess that doesn't go well, because as you know ... she can't dance. But wait, she thinks, "What if I invent my own dance team?" Hmmm ... there's an idea.
Somehow, she manages to round up a team of misfits who can dance, and gets this hotshot dancer to choreograph for them. All is good ... kinda of. She sort of learns to dance with the help of said Hotshot Dancer, who happens to be cute and totally into her.
The thing is ... that all the dancing takes away from her school work, and her laser-eyed focus on academics. Mom, of course, finds out about it. Not a happy camper. "You must quit immediately!," she says. "Think about our goal: Duke U!"
So Quinn does. She buries her new dreams (dancing), as well as buries her head in her books, but not before quitting the team and breaking everyone's hearts, including her best friend's and Hotshot Dancer.
While at the nursing home, where she is barely paying attention to the elderly residents, because her head is buried in a book, one of the residents starts talking to her. Let's call her Ida. Ida asks Quinn what's wrong. Quinn quickly explains. And here's what Ida says:
"Look at me ... You see that guy over there?" Ida points to a man sitting in a wheelchair practically comatose. "That's Max Berman. Harvard Law School. Argued two cases to the Supreme Court. And Penny Kits," she continues pointing at another resident, "Ran the cardiology department at UNC. And look at them now ... We all end up in the same place, in a nursing home falling asleep in front of crappy TV."
Quinn is now paying attention.
"And the only memories we have," Ida says, "are the ones that were, like, really fun. You know, the times we spent with our friends, not the schoolwork or the textbooks."
Wow ... Ida hit the nail on the head! How many of us spend all our time working? With that laser-eyed focus on something that takes away from what's most important?
I'm not implying that we don't work. I'm saying that we need to have balance in our lives. And hopefully, we don't end up in a nursing home watching crappy TV with memories about work and not fun times spent with friends.
My other thought is that when we decide on something that we believe HAS to happen the way we imagine it, we're actually closing doors to other opportunities that might even be better for us. We have to stay open. Something better may be coming our way. If we let it.
Let's make it a point to stay open, as well as to incorporate some fun into our lives to balance out the work that we have to do. Let's make plans with friends. Let's eat cake, sit outside surrounded by nature and fresh air. Let's take more walks. Have more heartfelt talks.
Let's put aside the thought that we have to postpone those things that bring us joy. Because at the end of the day, we deserve joy. We're here to have fun. To bring joy to others.
Yes, we continue to work. But what if we shift our focus, just a smidgin to start with? Perhaps take 15 minutes during the day to read, or watch a funny video, or call a friend. Would that really be so horrible?
I don't think we can afford to postpone joy.
So let's not!
Slipstream
Amen! We must take time to have fun, share laughs with friends, and connect with family. Carrying the work load on our backs with no relief will certainly take it's toll. Thanks for the vivid reminder of what's really important.
Sanatana
It was a reminder to myself as well. Postponing joy when life can provide so much of it when we allow it, is stupid!
Wilsons Grave
Agree. There's a visible joy deficit everywhere it seems...you can see it in the grimaces on folks faces...because everyone's a harsh critic of others... and people are forced to work such long hours they have no energy to socialize. Now old friends and family are labeled enemies or turncoats, so there's no reason to ring them up since the conversation would end up in an ugly debate on who should have rights and who shouldn't and that'll surely bring more anger and less joy. If you've cast your net wide enough you'll find someone to call for a feel good moment, but things feel stuck in the mud right now. Personally, I feel joy in this space, reading articles like these, and especially watching some videos in the amusement park.
Sanatana
Thank you for your great response. I feel joy in this space as well. Things are quite pugilistic in the world right now. For some, joy doesn't come easily. At that point, we need to stop and create it, even if it's just carving out a little bit of time to do something we love. For me that's reading. For someone else, it might be a walk in the park, or connecting with a friend who is uplifting. The point is to grab the joy wherever possible.
Evangel
It's sad to think that the end of life is not kind, especially if one is stuck in a nursing home or too old to get around and drive. What's worse, I imagine, is the realization that no one needs you anymore. How painful and lonely that must be. So, yes, definitely we must catch as much joy as possible while we still can and stop with the excuses that there's not enough time.
Loved this reminder.
Well Street
It's so easy to fall into the trap of denying ourselves something fun or joyful until a particular benchmark is reached. Often, the benchmark gets pushed further and further away until, before we know it, years have passed.
I know people who invest time and energy into having fun experiences and nurturing relationships, all while staying on top of their responsibilities. Their example and your post are strong reminders that joy in the present isn't something we have to earn and gives the world more of what it needs.
Sanatana
Well said. Thank you. I've been guilty of that myself, of postponing joy until I reach a goal for the day. Somehow, by the time the goal is reached, the joyful moment has to be pushed off yet again.