All or nothing!
It's either my way or the highway!
Do you suffer from black and white thinking? This is when you see things in extreme. There is no room for gray. When you think in black and white, everything is either perfect or a failure; there is no room for an in-between. Can you see how negatively this can impact you and the people with whom you associate?
All or nothing thinking doesn't allow for negotiation or compromise. In essence, it keeps you stuck with no room for growth. And when you finally find out that you may have been wrong, your whole house of cards falls.
Black and white thinking can lead to feeling anxious and makes it almost impossible to have healthy relationships. Because, after all, you're always right and everyone else is wrong.
If you are of this mind set, there is a way to work your way out of it. Even though it can be tough, especially if you've been like this all your life, you can begin by noticing when you use words such as "always," or "never." Those words could be a sign that you suffer from rigid thinking.
Another thing you can do is to start challenging your thoughts and ideas by considering other possibilities. For example, you might want to ask, "Is there another option? Possibility?" Most things have a shade of gray.
With practice, you can start rewiring your brain; make it more flexible and open, and be able to see things in a more balanced way.
Imagine yourself being open to other possibilities and healthier relationships? Sound good?
Slipstream
I just watched a video posted by Homeless Valley where a woman who was pretty settled into her black/white thinking decided to start using fact checking sites. She changed her thinking once she had a full picture on various issues. Venturing into the gray gives you permission to explore other options, and can also help you feel calmer. Thanks for your post!
Here's a link to the video: https://youtropolis.com/city/homeless-valley/districts/maga-woman-wants-...
Sanatana
I saw that lady. Boy, she really came around! Good for her.
Evangel
Another term for this is "rigid thinking," which illuminates the type of person behind such thinking. Often, they are pained by what might happen should they veer off their "straight and narrow" path.
It takes immense courage for anyone to abandon their long-held, hardline beliefs because so much in their life is organized around them--such as people they associate with, organizations they belong to, family who rely on their constancy and faithfulness to those beliefs.
Should courage, however, seize and motivate them to dismantle potentially misguided beliefs, they may ultimately cave under the weight of all the what-ifs that may happen by doing so. But it likely will be the most liberating and peaceful action they can take. For those who are ready to dive in, this article offers some excellent first steps. Thanks for posting!
Sanatana
You're very welcome! And yes, this type of behavior is based on rigidity, which is like prison of one's own making.
Well Street
I've seen a version of all-or-nothing thinking when it comes to clients' exercise and nutrition habits. Some people have the perception that if they don't have 60-90 minutes for exercise, then they won't do any.
A common one is when they veer off their eating plan and overindulge in dessert or a calorie-laden meal, and feel they've "blown it," so they fall completely off the rails instead of resuming sensible eating the next day.
Sanatana
I can see how that happens. I used to feel I had to work out x amount of days or I'd lose progress. Now, I just think, is my body going to change because I miss one day? Nope, and I carry on without any guilt.
Evangel
I think any regimen could be considered hard work. With that perception, some of your clients undoubtedly think they deserve some time off from their work, just like time off from their daily office grind.