Two Wolves

It's been awhile since I read the story of Two Wolves. The origin of this parable is mixed. Some attribute the story to indigenous American peoples such as the Cherokee or Cree. Others say the origin of this parable is unknown. Regardless of who originally told the story, each time I read it I come away with a burning question...how would grandmother tell this story?

The story of Two Wolves is being told to a grandson by his grandfather from the perspective of opposites, division and separateness. In the story grandfather is telling grandson he has two wolves inside him. The grey wolf wants grandfather to be strong, compassionate, full of hope, love, peace, humility and faith. It is also collaborative, healing, thriving and inclusive. While the black wolf wants grandfather to be full of anger, hatred, greed, arrogance and envy. The black wolf is barely surviving most days and feels separate, wounded, unsafe and afraid. This is the only way it knows to protect grandfather. The child is terrified upon hearing the story and wants to know which wolf wins. Grandfather's response is “the one I feed.”

“The one I feed” tells me grandfather knows he has choices about which wolf he pays attention to and what he gives power to. He makes decisions about which wolf to feed and what to feed it. Depending on his choice, he knows harm could come to himself or others.

With no disrespect intended to the origin story I am going to tell this story to the grandson from grandmother's point of view. She would say to her grandchild, “I have two wolves inside of me. They are separate parts of me, yes, however together we make the whole me. We have a relationship with each other that has nothing to do with winning or losing. We live in harmony because we have learned how to work together and help each other.”

“The two wolves trust that I will pay attention to what their needs are. They know that I will feed them appropriately, whether it is a kind word, show them love or give a reminder to pause and take a time out to prevent lashing out in a way that causes self or others harm. We won't always agree however I have created an environment where we co-exist peacefully, count on each other and together we can solve any problem that arises.” The grandson likes the idea of working out differences in a peaceful way. He understands there are two wolves inside of him too and he's not afraid.

Back to the origin story. The parable is a metaphor for relationships whether with ourselves or others. It invites us to remember we all have these opposites within us that can be divisive or harmonious. We are reminded we make conscious choices about what we pay attention to. Neuroscience tells us we are wired for negativity (black wolf lurking in the shadows) so we have to work harder at being positive (grey wolf's compassionate perspective).

The beautiful questions are:
1) Which perspective do you have?
2) Which wolf are you choosing to feed and why?
3) What are you feeding your wolf?