Take What I Need Not What I Want

On my visit to Maui in March I struck up a conversation with a 23 year old sales lady where I was shopping. As is my practice when visiting the island and I meet someone who seems like a main lander I like to find out their back story, the call to uproot their lives and move.

Lily, only 23 years old from Cincinnati, came for a job interview however she was not hired. She did fall in love with the magic of the island. So she went home, quit her job, packed up her belongings and came back. I can't tell you how many times I have heard a version of this scenario every time I had an opportunity to visit.

While Lily's life in the beginning was not easy she intended to stay. It was essential for her to get very clear very quickly what was necessary for daily life functioning so she could. She figured out how to provide the basics and keep herself safe. Lily said she adopted the island way of taking only what she needed and not what she wanted. Through this process she found something in Maui she knew money couldn't buy and it has been worth the sacrifices. Joy, a sense of belonging and a peaceful simple life is what she is now experiencing. How did she get so wise at only 23 years old?

What does it even mean to “take what I need and not what I want?” Needs and wants are very different and we sometimes get those confused. I've learned that our basic needs remain pretty consistent however wants often fluctuate daily. My understanding is that a need is essential for our survival. Lily had the need for basic things like food, shelter, and safety as well as human connection. Wants typically have something to do with a desire for something we feel is absent or lacking in our lives. While Starbucks or purchasing something from the boutique where Lily worked were occasional wants they were not on her list of needs and she was willing to do without.

I left our conversation thinking about how so many of us today are consumed with “not enough” thinking. A recipe for dancing with fear not peace. We tell ourselves we don't have enough, or do enough or we are just plain not enough. We need more. Imprinted in my mind, maybe yours too, is how toilet paper availability became a crisis during the pandemic when people began to hoard it. Hopefully we all learned an excess of something will not bring joy, peace or even lasting fulfillment. There will always be something else we want. Perhaps, as with Lily, only taking what we need can teach us what has true value, meaning and purpose.

As a result of this inspiring young woman's learnings I came home with resolve to be more mindful about my needs and wants. As part of my morning routine I began to affirm “I have everything I need and more today.” Even when my “not enough” mind tells me I don't my heart shows me that I do...then I relax and feel peaceful.