Order, Disorder, Reorder
These past weeks in conversations with different friends the topic of Father Richard Rohr's podcast about the Wisdom Pattern: Order, Disorder and Reorder of spiritual growth came up. Examples from our lives included: marriage and divorce, birth and death, finding or losing a job, gaining and losing weight, injury and recovery and certainly 911 and COVID. We launched into discussing how this pattern impacted us personally borrowing from Father Richard's theme.
While the sameness, calm and predictability of an Ordered life was preferable it is not reality. Life is always presenting herself and changing things whether we like it or not.
Unlike Order, in the Disorder phase there is a disruption of what feels like the normal way of thinking, being and living in the world. What helped us stay grounded during these unpredictable days and able to keep moving through the chaos, fear, anger and pain turned out to be a variation of the same three daily practices.
We recognized that pain, whether physical, mental, emotional, spiritual or financial could be an opening, an invitation for internal house cleaning...personal growth. In our suffering we didn't initially see the opening. Sometimes we had to sit in the discomfort until clarity came which then allowed us to make new choices which led to growth. While some people can get stuck in this phase, we could see that self-growth and transformational changes occurred during Disorder using daily practices.
Overall benefits of the three practices we came up with included treating ourselves in a kinder more gentle way and getting better at identifying and managing our behavior, emotions and thoughts. I'm sure you have your own to add to this list.
Self-soothing: quiet music, 5 minutes of conscious breathing,
prayer, journal
Self-repair: let go of negative self talk, keep it kind and in the
present, self-forgiveness
Self-care: exercise, grounding routines, connect with support
community, limit news
We all found comfort in saying the word Reorder. I could actually see us exhale! It resonated as a promise that this present Disorder will have an end. Even though we don't know how this Reorder will take shape we hold on to hope that it will be for the better. In a similar way when I watch NCIS, the show starts with Order, the detectives are often in the Orange room teasing each other and being playful, the messy middle or Disorder follows where someone is found dead, Gibbs barks “get your gear” and the characters go about solving the crime until Reorder occurs.
In Reorder we learn that everything belongs, opposites and paradoxes which might seem contrary to logic or common sense. Hope popped up her head as we all remembered we've lived through many times of Disorder and we will again. Leaning into the love and support of friendship, family and community and internal house cleaning combined with our daily practices is not to be underrated right now.
Slipstream
Thanks so much for posting this piece. It all makes so much sense. And, the three practices you mention are good reminders that we can help ourselves during dark times, and in turn, be able to give aid to others. Again, thanks!
Evangel
Order, disorder, and reorder sound a lot like Samsara, the Hindu cycle of life, death, rebirth. It resonates that in one's life the cycle repeats itself many times through both good and difficult life experiences which, hopefully, push us toward a more genuine understanding of ourselves and others—and life itself. Growth, as you say.
But what's so disordering are those things you least expect. The rug pulled out from under us forces us to pick ourselves back up and rebalance. But when the foundations of our nation are fully dismantled only to be rebuilt on sludge, it's like gravity itself has disappeared and there's nothing to hang onto—least of all hope, unless we form communities to reject the assault on our lives.
Getting to that renewed place of hope, no doubt, will be made easier by adopting the practices you suggest. They will strengthen our energies and boost them beyond the calamities that deplete them.
Thank you so very much for reminding us that such practices should not be underrated during these times. It's likely they can help us catch our breath again and feel some gravity once more.