Friendship
Eavesdropping today on a pair of homeless men brought me to tears. I had arrived for an appointment early so I was sitting in the car with the windows rolled down. I was parked in such a way I could see and hear the most warmhearted exchange between these guys across the short parking lot.
James, a regular, spends most days under the overhang of the building in plain sight of my rear view mirror. I don't know James but I've known about him for a while. He is homeless, shy and has schizophrenia. The occupants of the nearby offices check in on him when he is there. They help him with food, water and sometimes money. His birthday was earlier this year. One of the tenants found out and organized gift bags and birthday cards for him which totally overwhelmed and pleased him.
I could see him pacing up and down the parking lot, looking around the building and talking to himself. I watched for a while curious about what was going on. After a short time another homeless gentleman walked toward James. Arms outstretched, James running awkwardly toward him, with a smile as big as Texas on his face, shouting at the top of his lungs, “happy birthday, happy birthday”
James took his friend's hand and led him back to where his treasures were gathered under the overhang. Rummaging around his belongings he held up a large iced drink. There they sat, laughing and talking, sharing the beverage. Seemingly not a care in the world in their rumpled dirty probably smelly clothes. I could hear James launching into some suggestions about what they might do to make it a happy birthday. Mostly it involved walking someplace or taking pictures of flowers. Obviously one of them had a phone. For a brief moment in time they were just like you and I sitting with a friend celebrating a birthday at Starbucks...but it was starkly different.
I literally wept at this demonstration of genuine authentic love, kindness and friendship. While they might not have much in the material sense, they clearly care for and have each other. I was reminded of a C. S. Lewis quote, “Friendship is unncessary, like philosophy, like art, it has no survival value. It is one of those things that give value to survival.”
Sitting there in my car, the air conditioning at my fingertips, fresh from my shower, in clean clothes grateful I was not sharing their life's journey. I felt a mixture of guilt, sadness, anger, and yet so much joy being privileged to observe...what felt like a sacred moment.
As I was getting out of the car to go in for my appointment I wanted to do something or say something to honor this man. So I stopped, turned toward him, smiled and said, “happy birthday.” A broad smile spread across his face, followed by a wave and a soft thank you. I was so moved...more tears.
Slipstream
Oh my gosh, what a privilege to have seen and heard that conversation. I was moved from the very beginning by the kindness that people in the office building showed James. That alone is newsworthy. But to have the added gift of watching and hearing two old friends connect and share their love for one another was simply amazing. I certainly teared up while reading your post. Too often, we judge people like James because of what we observe, but this story is a wake-up call for all of us to never judge other human beings. There but for the grace of God go any one of us. Thank you so much for sharing this with us.
Present Valley
You are so welcome for your comments.
I am happy you were as touched by James as much as I was❤️. This experience really gives us an opportunity to pause… consider shifting our perspective about our fellow humans.
Evangel
Your story is so moving. We probably all know people who are challenged by life, who've had some hard knocks, and struggle to get back on their feet unaided. Some people choose to be homeless, others don't. Either way, we cannot understand the makings of their predicament or judge the content of their character. Our world is rife with pitfalls, and misfortunes abound. What your story illustrates is that love belongs to us all, no matter one's condition or state of mind. The homeless man may well have a much happier life than we can imagine. To think otherwise may make sense, but it's mere speculation on our part. I was deeply touched by your experience and the beautiful way in which you shared it. Thank you for caring and offering us a different perspective on the nature of homelessness.
Present Valley
Thank you for your kind comments and wider perspective.
It was a dear sacred moment.
Homeless Valley
I've always believed that home is where the heart is, and your eavesdropping experience illustrates the point so pointedly. What a lesson for the world. This man felt perfectly at home and joyful in the company of his friend, welcoming him to his humble abode where they shared a large iced drink. This is how Native American people once thrived in communities before they were carted off to reservations and put into square houses that felt nothing like home. I can tell from the detail in your story that you were captivated by the bond these men shared. You didn't scoff in annoyance as so many people today do when seeing homeless people. You have a big heart. Thank you for sharing it with us in recounting your story.
Present Valley
Thank you so much for appreciating this sacred moment. It was an experience like no other.
You get it like I did… from your big heart.
I liked all the details you brought into your comments.
Well Street
I agree with Slipstream that it's a bit of a miracle that the office tenants show James such kindness. Most people would call the police to have him removed.
I was recently stopped at a red light when I noticed a man sitting on a bus stop bench. Wearing tattered clothes, with a shopping cart next to him, he'd likely been on the streets a long time. He looked to be in his 60s, his face weather-worn and his eyes with little life to them. He reached into a pocket and produced a lighter and crack pipe and began openly smoking from it. I was saddened because this wasn't the life he'd aspired to, and if I were living with his challenges and hardships, I'd probably reach for the pipe as well.
James has people in his life who care for him and make him feel valued, giving him a sense of purpose. What a blessing, and kudos to you for arriving at your appointment early so you could witness this sacred moment and even take part in it.
Present Valley
Thank you for sharing your experience.
I think all too often what you saw is what happens with our homeless population. I don't know how they survive everything they are faced with. Self medication seems reasonable to me.
I imagine James's experience is rare and I am so grateful I got
to hear about him and to be there in that sacred moment.
Music City
What a sweet and touching story!
So beautifully written!
Thank you for sharing
Present Valley
Thank you.
I am so glad it touched you that way.
Wilsons Grave
It warms my heart to know that homeless folks have genuine friends they can turn to or celebrate birthdays with. God knows they don't have much of anything else. And guess what? People aged 50 and older are the fastest growing group of homeless people in our country...and these aren't mental health cases. They're being evicted or losing their homes from rising housing costs. Five years ago, old folks were just 10% of the homeless population, but now they make up half. Worse yet, they expect their numbers to triple in big cities over the next 3-4 years. Scary. Anyone ready to see gramps and grammies pushing shopping carts around? I'm not. But like global warming, none of the numb nuts in congress have solutions or seem to care since they can look the other way in their fancy, air-conditioned homes and gated communities that keep them safe from homeless sightings.
Your story is very touching to say the least. It really grabbed me to the point of needing to rant. Sorry.
Present Valley
Thank you for your rant. It seems appropriate and shared by the other people who commented. Our homeless are greatly underserved. I too have read some of those statistics you mentioned...and for someone sliding into 80...as are many of my friends...this is terrifying!!!
I was glad the article touched your heart. It was very emotional for me to see and write. I'll tell you honestly it was one of those experiences where I felt God in the midst of what I was watching. I am not a religious person yet the sacredness of what I was witnessing could not be denied.
When I was watching them I had no intention of writing about it. However, the words for the article just flooded into my mind. My goal was accomplished because I wanted the article to touch the heart's of the reader. Now if we could all just do something to make it different.