Equanimity
I've learned so much about equanimity these last few months as my world has been inundated with unexpected house repairs and health issues. (I think this is called “life.”) Most of what I know about it comes from my studies of Buddhism when I taught meditation.
When we don't practice equanimity we end up on an emotional roller coaster ride because we label events as good or bad. We can actually never really know how things are going to turn out. Now we have the emotional distress to manage as well as the event that has occurred.
This is what happened to me. I had a huge unexpected plumbing repair bill (oh no bad!) that I later found out would be mostly refunded by the insurance company (oh yes good!) Going on a wonderful cruise to Alaska (oh yes good!) coming down with Covid the day I got off the ship and being sick for six weeks (oh no bad!) You get the picture. It's exhausting.
I understand the basic concept of keeping an even mind and staying calm regardless of what happens and not labeling events as a good experience or a bad experience. Not always that easy for me to do. One of my favorite parables I like to re-read as a reminder and illustrates equanimity is this Taoist story.
An old farmer had worked his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news his neighbors came to visit telling him sympathetically, “Such bad luck.” “Maybe,” the farmer replied.
The next morning the horse returned bringing with it three other wild horses. “How wonderful,” the neighbors exclaimed. “Maybe,” replied the farmer.
The following day the farmer's son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown and broke his leg. The same neighbors came to offer their sympathy about the young man's misfortune. “Maybe,” answered the farmer.
The day after military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son's leg was broken they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out.
“Maybe,” said the farmer.
The farmer seems to experience life as it shows up keeping an even mind without being attached to the outcome. I have a long way to to go to reach this level of equanimity though it seems like a goal worth working towards...Maybe.
Well Street
This is a great topic that's been discussed on Youtropolis in past articles. Though it feels like it goes against human nature, emotional detachment from an outcome would be liberating.
I've heard Law of Attraction influencers say a prerequisite for manifestation is to release such attachments.
I hadn't thought about it before, but I wonder if the farmer, seeing life events through the lens of neutrality, could ever feel elated and joyful from an experience, or would he temper it with the potential that the experience/event may not be so positive.
Hopefully, something like a tender kiss, a delicious meal, or the birth of a child would bring him happiness.
Thank you for posting this thought-provoking article, and I hope your house plumbing is working better than ever.
Slipstream
It's very difficult to stay in that neutral place and just let things unfold naturally. I feel like I'm not doing my part if I don't push it along for the outcome I want. Hard habit to break that's for sure, but I keep chipping away at it. Thanks for posting; I'm rooting for you!
Evangel
Equanimity along with neutrality are essential ingredients to a peaceful life—and ultimately world peace. If only these qualities were hardwired within us to the degree that fear is. It's as if divine intelligence said, no, life will be boring without the ups and downs.
The Taoist story offers a very practical truth. And as you experienced, no one really knows the full outcome of any upsetting event. But you seem to have had an extra-long string of ups and downs so far this year, more than most people I know.
Let's hope for more calm and balance in your life, but from my perspective, you're closer than most of us to mastering "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck."