The Edge of Uncertainty

Wily Coyote was running up and down my street for a few days. He even took over my backyard for a brief period of time. Yes, I was totally freaked out. From my patio window I could see him sitting boldly on my back wall watching me watching him. Later in the day he strolled across the yard as if he lived here.

Noticing how some of my neighbors handled this intrusion proved to be interesting. From chasing it down the street to bringing in little pets to swearing off taking toddlers for a walk. Then again, some were not phased at all. Myself, I investigated what would be a coyote deterrent and I am now the proud owner of a few whistles to take on my morning walks and when I am working out in my garage. I also made sure there is nothing in the yard to encourage him to revisit.

Beyond my unexpected and unwelcome visitor was a curiosity about the way my sense of uncertainty had been disrupted. For awhile I was no longer bounding out my door into the backyard...I now felt unsafe. A yard which I have always loved and enjoyed being in. For days after, when I looked out the patio window my eyes first gravitated to the place where he was sitting on the wall looking at me and then I noticed the flowers instead of drinking in their vibrant color right away.

While my sense of safety has returned, this edge of uncertainty I was experiencing continued to peak my interest. Uncertainty means “to be unsure of something.” I am now unsure of whether or not a coyote will be returning and if he does will I see him to scare him away. The executive functioning part of my brain which loves to problem solve, plan and reason things out does not like it when I don't know how things are going to turn out.

Exploring this edge of uncertainty I came to the conclusion... I assume things. Even though I know there are so many things in life that are uncertain. Everyday examples of what I assume include: my backyard would be safe from predators, water would come out of the faucet when I turned it on, the car would start when I turned the key, there would be light when I flipped the switch. Maybe you hold these assumptions too. Even though all of those things have failed me at one time or another and resulted in feeling vulnerable I still assume it will not happen again.

So I sit with the question, “Why do I assume when I know better”? Perhaps it has something to do with feeling vulnerable...and that could be a whole different article!

Meanwhile back to what prompted this exploration of uncertainty...my visit from the coyote. I believe life is sacred and should not be taken for granted. And all experiences are fertile ground for growth. This is what I've been leaning into:

1. Being mindful of my assumptions and what is underneath them.
2. Developing my tolerance with uncertainty. See it as “maybe” a space of possibility and learning rather than making it scary.
3. Returning to the present moment instead of sliding into the future of what if's.
4. Accepting what I can't control about the situation and resource myself about what I can control.