A Coffin Doesn't Have Pockets
At our monthly coffee date last week my friend was bursting with excitement sharing his decision to accept an invitation from his friends to join them on a Mediterranean cruise in October. I was curious to hear what tipped the scale in favor of going. Last month he was so unsure he was giving himself a few more weeks to decide.
As it turns out it was recalling an old family expression, “A coffin doesn't have pockets” that tipped the scales. Translated in his family that literally meant it's important in life to know what belongs where. The only thing that belongs in your coffin is your body. You won't be taking money or anything else with you when you die. Enjoy what you have while you are living. At 86 years of age he thought if not now...when? He could afford this trip and he couldn't take his money with him. Looking at the expression on his face... to me...his decision felt like freedom and tasted like joy.
On the drive home my mind began to play with pockets and metaphors because I love metaphors. I became inquisitive about literal pockets and metaphorical pockets. In doing a little research I learned literal pockets included pocket puppies, pocket dolls, pool pockets, side pockets, coin pockets, stash pockets and let's not forget those awful tasting but popular Hot Pockets! Some literal pockets keep close what we need, are useful and necessary. For example, the pockets in our trousers or shirts or the pockets in our apron or tool belt or our purses and wallets.
I was also thinking about the metaphorical pockets that exist in our minds. A “mind pocket” where we carry our thoughts and beliefs about ourselves, others, life and the world. Depending on what and who and how we were influenced we carry a diversified range of thoughts and ideas from all the ages of our life to the age we are today. These thoughts and beliefs come and go or take root and grow.
Reflecting on the “coffins don't have pockets” expression really gave me pause to be more aware of the thoughts and beliefs that do and don't belong in my mind pocket. Releasing patiently, gently and over time the ones that could cause harm to myself or others. As a result, I am trusting I will come face to face with more decisions, like my friend did, that feel like freedom and taste like joy. That is my idea of living!
Slipstream
Great story! And cleaning out those pockets from time to time is a good idea. You never know what you'll find. When my son was growing up, I would find all sorts of items — a special rock, a dime, dried grass, maybe even part of a leftover sandwich. As adults, we may not have all that, but a cleaning could be in order.
Present Valley
Thank you for your response. I really like reading about all the things your son could store in his pockets. And yes just like a mind pocket..it needs to be cleaned out.
Evangel
In picturing mind pockets, I pictured a woman I read about who was so troubled in her mind that she filled her coat pockets with heavy rocks and walked into the ocean to end her life. Her mind pockets were filled with too heavy a load to carry.
Stopping to think about that, I see how we can hardly escape such a heavy load now with the volume on ongoing messaging that hits our mind every day through TV, newsfeeds, social media, billboards, uninvited text messages. Everyone else's mind is bouncing inside our own. Just one news clip of you-know-who sends millions of people off the deep end!
Thanks for sharing this interesting metaphor. ❤️
Present Valley
The story you shared about the woman with the rocks in her pockets is one example of what we carry in our mind pocket harming us.
I'm going to keep the great visual about others thoughts bouncing around in my head and make sure to clean those up! Thanks for your comment.
Well Street
I enjoyed this post a lot.
In the time your friend was deliberating about going on the trip or not, I'd be curious to learn what he'd say if asked, "What would be good about not taking this vacation?"
I ask this type of question to clients who are considering a behavior change to learn their psyche's reasons for maintaining the status quo.
The pocket metaphor hits home with me as well. I wouldn't willingly carry fistfuls of mud or loose tacks in my pants pockets, yet the equivalent (negative and hurtful perceptions about self, others, and the world) are easily carted in mind pockets year after year.
Bravo to your friend for saying Yes to going on an adventure.
Present Valley
Great question suggestion to keep in mind for future use!
I'm loving all the great visual the comments have provided about what does and does not belong in our literal pockets.
Thank you for taking the time to comment and I'm glad it was a fit for you.
Wilsons Grave
Pockets can pose trouble: air pockets while flying, or, worse, pockets that collect bacteria like periodontal or diverticula. But mind pockets are a novel way of looking at mental dysfunction. Being human, I got mental pockets aplenty, so this article on how to free them of debris is timely for me and much appreciated.
Present Valley
Ahhh so good to know I am not alone in my collection of "mind pockets."
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment and sharing this will be helpful for you.
Sanatana
This was excellent. Definitely worth sharing. Thank you!
Present Valley
Thank you so much for your comment and seeing the value of the article enough to repost it.
Sanatana
My pleasure!