Message From a 15-Year-Old Birthday Girl

Today is my birthday.

Someone special is baking a chocolate cake for me. On top of that, love keeps coming through a flurry of birthday and gift cards, flowers, voicemail, text messages, email, answered calls, and even a special Youtropolis postcard filled with love. I feel like a palace festooned with hearts.

But what can I give back to all those who remembered and took precious time to make my day extra special? At minimum, they each deserve a “thank you”, but is it enough?

The world is changing so rapidly now, people are restless and waiting—some are gripping the edge of their seat hoping for favorable breaking news that will settle them down. But it’s not likely to happen.

So what then? That’s what I’ve been asking myself lately. Is anything enough?

I don’t know the answer, but the question takes me back to my 15th birthday. When you’re a teenager nothing is ever enough.

The details of that day aren’t vivid, but my teenage mindset has returned to me in living color, revealing insights from my younger self that are worthy of mention:

1. I never listened to others. I thought, why should I? What do they know? This included parents, siblings, and teachers. Instead, I was quite enamored with my inner thoughts that scoffed at the dictates of social norms and appropriate behaviors assigned to young women. I didn’t think of myself as a rebel, but I was certain that I felt the truth inside me. Today people think they know the truth without really feeling it in their heart. So my younger self would suggest you stop listening to others and listen instead to the quiet voice within that loves you.

2. I loved french fries and barbecue beef sandwiches—something my mother never served to my father, and therefore never to us kids. When she made her traditional Greek avgolemono soup, I asked her why she thought I should want such a lemony soup that hardly constituted a meal. She said, it’s good for you. But I knew it was comfort food for my parents, reminding them of their own nostalgic childhood. Today my younger self would recommend you look beneath the surface of the stories you’re told. The real truth is like a root beneath the soil which looks and smells nothing like the pretty, fragrant flower on the surface. Again, my teenaged self would suggest a practice of turning within to get to the deeper truth.

3. Smalltalk always caused me to space out. What she said, what he said, then what the others said, and on and on. Along with smalltalk, vapid, shallow group conversations seemed to bring everyone in the crowd to life but me, and this was especially true when friends laughed at the misfortunes of others—unless the misfortune was someone slipping on a banana peel, which still sends me into a bout of uncontrolled laughter. Nevertheless, I’m sure my younger self would suggest you keep your thoughts about others to yourself as much as possible, no matter how tempting the gossip may be.

4. I kept a large cloud chart on my wall displaying images of every classification of known cloud. Today I can’t imagine what prompted me to invest in such a chart, but I’m sure a part of me felt it was better than staring at a teen idol that I’d likely never meet. The clouds settled me whenever I found myself in a bad mood. There was a purpose to them, and I figured if there was a purpose to having so many different types of clouds in the sky, there was most likely also a purpose to my life. I think the younger me might recommend adding a cloud poster to your wall to remind you that you, too, have a purpose even if it’s not readily apparent. If you’re going to be here for a while, ask yourself what would add meaning to your life from this day forward.

5. The summer I turned 15, I went to camp for a week at St. Sophia campground in Lake Arrowhead, which is also the year my face erupted into acne. My cousins thought they could fix me up with the younger of the Harrison boys since he, like me, had blue eyes and dark hair. But it wasn’t meant to be. I know it sounds cliché, but some things truly are not meant to be no matter everyone’s good intentions or plans. So that’s another thing my 15-year-old-self would want you to keep in mind today. Don’t scheme, plot, or manipulate, no matter how right it seems. Instead let the heavens have their way and guide you in all your affairs. Give those “Higher Ups” a reason to exist in your life and make you happier. It’s much more interesting and fun that way.