Are you destined for success?

Many years ago, before the advent of google maps, an employer fired me for arriving a few minutes late to a meeting twice. Both times, an unexpected traffic jam had held me up. The first time it happened, my boss remained silent upon hearing my apology. But when it happened again, he was clear: “I feel disrespected.”

The biggest lesson I learned that day was that no matter how skilled, talented, or knowledgeable you may be, others can and will take you down if you rub them the wrong way. In other words, genuine success hinges on how you treat others.

From that day forward, I shifted away from the notion that worldly accomplishments define a successful life, and leaned into the idea that accomplishments are mere training wheels on the road to genuine success.

In today’s global media world, it is wealth, celebrity, and acclaim—along with a lengthy Wikipedia page—that define our ideas of success and the status it confers. Most people, whether they bow down, genuflect, curtsey, or look up to those with status, feel privileged to be in such company, and may even wish to be so honored themselves. If you’re fortunate enough to bask in any of these heavenly bestowals, you also know they are easily lost through any number of misspoken words, missteps, or misfortunes. Easy come, easy go.

Attaining genuine success—meaning, the kind that sticks through a lifetime—requires a mental sea change and a radical new course of action. Genuine success most naturally comes from the raw self, not money, fame, or fortune. It cannot be inherited through sovereignty, rank, or title, nor won through the happenstance of a lottery win. Even pulling yourself up by the bootstraps and working hard won’t necessarily guarantee genuine success.

You’ll know what genuine success feels like when others highly esteem you, talk you up to others, treat you with respect, bring you into their circle, and basically go out of their way to do anything for you even if you’re penniless.

So what does it take to get there? Put simply, personal awesomeness.

Personal awesomeness banks on the law of attraction. Boiled down, the law adds up to this simple truth: like attracts like. Put another way, what you put out comes back to you. Awesomeness requires a full stop shift in consciousness that’s powerful enough to rewire your brain and drive you to do uncommon, awesome things when dealing with others. It’s a consciousness that innately acts on opportunities to make others happy because making others happy makes you happy and leads to genuine success.

When you can show stamina, patience, self-control, kindness, forgiveness, tolerance, love, and deference toward others, especially when your own feathers are being ruffled, you’ll be fulfilling another’s need for happiness. Beyond that, your equipoise will surprise them. They’ll respect you. They’ll talk you up. They’ll feel good around you—instead of disrespected. They’ll even push you up the old “ladder of success” if they’re in a position to do so.

Ultimately, genuine success is the lustrous gilt that shines bright atop one’s awesomeness. Tapping into your own awesomeness and putting it into daily practice is the surest predictor you’ll achieve your most desirable level of success.

For me, there’s no greater fortune than knowing others value me and have my back no matter what. I’ve learned that when the chips are down, awesomeness comes back to me tenfold. It will come back to you, too. Those you’ve given your awesomeness to will stand up for you, stand next to you, and hold you up whenever necessary. Contrast that to the perceived success that comes from your post going viral: it’s exciting to get millions of views and your fifteen minutes of fame, but when the clicks and likes are down you’ll feel like another flash in the pan, hopelessly waiting for your next high.

Success doesn’t have to be fleeting. But in today’s world it’s more like a bluebird of happiness that flies in momentarily and craps on you on its way out. Genuine success, however, is like a North Star that keeps shining on you and lighting your way. The best part is, no one can take it away because it hinges on you, and only you can dim that light.

So crank up your awesomeness and put it into daily practice wherever you go, whoever you meet with, even if you’re having a bad day. Through your own efforts, magic will start to happen and genuine success is sure to follow.