There's so much to say, but nothing comes.

I could say I’m angry, but that would be an understatement. Anger goes against my nature, it always has. As a mother, I’m accustomed to finding ways to exonerate the guilty, whether it’s my husband, my son, or Lulu, my dachshund. But, lately, I’ve been so disturbed by every ounce of news that I’ve become speechless.

Really. I have nothing to say. Nothing comes to mind. It’s like my mind has literally been blown to pieces. Like the glaring silence of children in Gaza. Ive tried to put them out of my mind, but they just popped up as I’m writing.

I’m writing in an effort to jump-start my brain, but I’m too discombobulated to make any sense. But this poem by Susan Griffin hits the nail on the head for me. I think it’s beautiful and hope you understand it in the way I do.

"Silences. Not the silences between notes of music, or the silences of a sleeping animal, or the calm of a glassy surfaced river witnessing the outstretched wings of a heron. Not the silence of an emptied mind. But this other silence. That silence which can feel like a scream, in which there is no peace. The grim silence between two lovers who are quarreling. The painful silence of the one with tears in her eyes who will not cry. The silence of the child who knows she will not be heard. The silence of a whole people who have been massacred. Of a whole sex made mute, or not educated to speech. The silence of a mind afraid to admit truth to itself. This is the silence the poet dreads."

— Susan Griffin

Today, I dedicate this poem to another poet, Renee Nicole Good, who will never speak again.