I wish it was this simple
As I have struggled over the last six years with a dear friend of four decades, this statement really resonated with me. Having been told, “I don’t even know you any more…” spoke volumes in her inability to accept that my perspectives have evolved and shifted… my conclusions on current events and politics don't align with how she sees things. We even have differences with our shared Christian faith…how we live out the commandments. This has caused tremendous hurt and frustration, on both sides, and I honestly have withdrawn and limit engagement. To avoid conflict. I’m sure this isn’t an isolated experience.
Evangel
I love this quote!
I'm so sorry about your friend's loss of respect and warmth toward you. If she were sick and needed you to be there for her, you would be. And at the moment, she would hopefully realize your opinions aligning with hers count for nothing.
Faithville
I’d like to think that you are right.
Slipstream
My cousin's husband loves talking HIS politics, but when I visit, she tells him to put a lid on it. They aren't going to change their view of things, nor am I, so we talk about safe topics we have in common like our family, our childhood, the weather, etc. It may not be all that stimulating, but I find we always wind up laughing about something. And when I leave, hugs and I love yous are genuinely shared.
Maybe you can create a new relationship based on one or two things that aren't dangerous territory and build from there over time.
Faithville
I’ll keep trying it just seems nearly every time we’re together something is said that she doesn’t like and I always end up apologizing. Whether or not it is warranted. There seemingly are so few topics left. Something as simple as disagreeing on a celebrity wardrobe choice upsets her. I guess it’s disagreeing with her view, no matter how mundane or irrelevant, is an equally weighted offense. I’ll keep trying.
Evangel
In such a situation where someone triggers frequently upon hearing what is said, I might be inclined to stop the person in that moment of inappropriate reaction and ask them "In what way have I offended you?" That way, she'd have to explain her motive. But it sounds more likely that she's just angry with you for no longer "being you"--the "you" she was once in sync with.
Faithville
I do think it’s anger at the core. I like the idea of asking the question. It will be interesting to see how she responds. From her perspective such a question could be interpreted as if I’m challenging or questioning her. Worth a try though. I will see them July 22.
Evangel
Good luck.